Chapter 1
I rub my eyes trying to convince myself to get out of the bed. I stretch a bit rolling over and looking at the clock again. Nine twenty two. I'm supposed to be in at work at ten. I just don't seem to care though. My phone starts to ring but I don't bother to care. Still I sit up and grab the phone. I press the on button for a moment before hanging up the phone not even holding it to my ear. I yawn waking into the bathroom and turning on the water. I splash some cold water on my face and shake my head little. I look at my face in the mirror and see how bloodshot my eyes are. I close them again and find my way over to the toilet. When I finish in the bathroom I start to walk down the hall and see the empty living room again. This place just seems so empty without Jamie here. Not that we were really ever anything.
Oh god what the hell is wrong with me? I have never been with a guy before and yet Jamie, there is just something different about him. I mean he comes here after years of not seeing him and moves in. I thought it would be funny at first for him to dress up like a girl but it didn't end up the way I thought at all. Instead of it just being a funny little story though it did something to me. I mean seeing him like that I felt strangely attracted to him. Then that guy came around. Scott. It seemed that no matter what happened Jamie just couldn't shake him. I mean this guy actually thought he was dating a girl and even after finding out that Jamie is a guy he still kept dating him. How is that even an option? I don't think I could do the same if I had such a surprise foisted off on me. I mean how is it possible to so easily start out dating a woman and then find out that woman is really a man and not break up right away. That's a pretty big thing to consider before dating someone. But it wasn't like I didn't know about Jamie being a guy the whole time so why was I attracted at all? I need to find someone to date. Or a roommate maybe.
My last relationship didn't work out that well though. Talya was a great girl and yet all I could think of was Jamie. I mean she was interesting and hot and great in bed yet my mind was on Jamie the whole time. I mean it was why I ended up breaking up with Talya because it wasn't really working out. It's been a while since I've had a real relationship though. Most girls just assume I am gay since I work at a hair salon. It's not exactly the most masculine job in the world after all. Not that I don't have a few regular costumers that are women. Even some that flirt with me on a regular basis. Unfortunately those women are married and in their fifties. Not exactly what I'm looking for.
I head into the kitchen to find some food but my fridge is as empty as the rest of my house. All that's left is beer and ice cream. Shit. I slam the door shut and get dressed not really looking at my clothes. I get in the car stopping at drive thru coffee shop on the way and getting a triple shot of espresso and a couple of blueberry muffins. By the time I show up at work I'm still ten minutes late and only half way through my breakfast. “Jeremy, there you are. You're ten a clock has been waiting.” Cindy all but barks at me as I enter the door but I just wave her off. It isn't like it matters much I pay for my spot each month and bring in too many clients for me to really get fired.
I go to my chair and get it ready plugging in the hair drier and when I look over at my client I remember who he is. I smile slightly shaking my head before I take another bite of my muffin. I wave him over and the slight formed blonde walks right to me and sits down in the chair. “I was starting to worry you forgot about me.” He says with a wide grin and I shake my head.
“I had a bit of a late start today. Nothing to eat in the house.” I say with a gesture toward my still half eaten muffin and coffee on the table. He laughs as I try desperately to remember his name.
“I completely understand that. There is never food at my place. I'm never home long enough to cook proper food. It goes bad before I get home again.” He tells me with a laugh and I am able to remember that he is a truck driver. Thus why he only shows up every three weeks for a slight trim. His hair is actually very short just a slight fade but kept practically military short. I plug in the electric clippers and start running my fingers through his hair. It's grown maybe a quarter of an inch since I cut it last so it isn't really like he needs a cut at all.
“Have you thought of possibly getting some highlights? I swear it isn't just for girls.” I tell him with a grin even though I know it will delay my schedule further. He turns slightly looking at himself in the mirror as if trying to picture it.
“I don't know I'm already a bit of an odd ball being so small. If I get highlights I might just need to start hanging a rainbow flag from my antenna.” He jokes but I'm not sure if he means it will make him look gay or if he actually is. I shrug though combing his hair slightly to one side.
“Well it's up to you, it's getting pretty popular these days though, even with straight men.” I say still not sure if he is or not.
“Will it cost much extra?” He asks and I know he is close to agreeing.
“I tell you what, for this time I'll do it at half price just fifteen on top of the haircut. If you like it we'll do touch ups when you get your hair cut. If not then it will get cut out quickly with how much you get your hair cut.” I tell him and he smiles again.
“Well with a deal like that I think I'll have to accept.” He tells me and I go through his hair once more looking for the natural colors already present and trying to decide which to highlight. His hair mostly blonde but with some browns and golden almost reds thrown in. I pick out a couple of light golden browns and another shade of blonde as well. Then get to sectioning his hair and start mixing the chemicals. It doesn't take long for me to color his hair with how short it is. Still since I was already late and he was only scheduled for a cut but the time I have all of the foil in my next client is here.
“Alright well it takes about twenty minutes for the color to set. Once it is done Charlie will rinse you off and we will cut your hair. Have a seat right there, there are plenty of magazines to keep you busy. I'll see you in about thirty minutes.” I tell him leading him over to waiting area. I look at the sheet of appointments quickly noticing that his name is William. Still I ignore that for now and look at the next name instead. Lucy. “Lucy.” I say looking out and quickly finding the older woman that looks up. Although Lucille is probably in her late fifties her body is in great shape other than the slight wrinkles. Though I'm sure that its a combination of surgery, exercise, and extreme dieting. She's on her forth husband and loves to gossip. Another regular though since she is slightly delusional she insists on coloring her hair every two weeks to get rid of the gray. I grin and show Lucy right over to my chair. Since she's a regular I quickly go to pulling out the right colors and start combing her hair to see where the roots have actually grown. Once again there isn't much to actually do here. I touch up a few spots quickly before sending her to sit.
By this time Charlie has just finished rinsing out William's hair and I grin at my timing. I wave him over again but this time I remember his name. “Alright William, let's do the cut and see how your hair has turned out.” I tell him pulling the cape over him again. I'm a little surprised when he laughs again though.
“You know you forget my name about nine out of ten of the times that I'm here. Which is sad for how often I come here. I've told you several times to call me Will.” He says with a grin and I laugh as well.
“I'm sorry. I will try my best to remember that this time.” I tell him honestly and he grins at me.
“It's ok.” He says softly and I run my fingers through his newly colored hair. It's already mostly dry with how short it is. I grab my clippers and start in on his hair going for a very slight fade just a touch longer on the top than the sides and back. I find myself really liking how it turns out and I grab a comb with just a bit of touch of gel on it to flip up the front. It only takes me around fifteen minutes to finish his hair. I pull off the cape and brush off his shoulders before turning him around to see the mirror. Will looks at himself in the mirror turning his head a little to see the highlights. “Well I have to say you were right. It looks really good. Thanks, Jeremy.” He says and it's clear that says my name almost like to rub it in my face that he can remember.
“Well I'm glad you like it. I'm all done here and Cindy will cash you out.” I tell him but he seems almost reluctant to leave. “Was there anything else?” I ask him and he hesitates then shakes his head.
“Um, no I'll see you in a few weeks.” He tells me with a bit of a grin and he heads over to reception desk. I smile slightly and go back to working with Lucy finishing her up. I have a few more clients before I call it a day at three p.m. I head to the grocery store right after work figuring I should probably actually pick up some food for the apartment. I head over to the frozen dinner area as I lean over to look at the freezers though I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Will again.
“Hey, I see that you decided to pick up some food too.” He says with a grin and I laugh.
“Yea I see we have the same taste too, or we both just can't cook.” I tell him and Will laughs again.
“Or maybe we just don't have time huh? Actually I eat out a lot but it gets pretty lonely. Thought I'd spend a night at home and maybe watch a movie or something.” He tells me and I nod thinking of how many nights lately I've spent doing the same thing. My cart is also half full of alcohol though since that has made up probably ninety percent of my calorie intake lately. Will seems to notice this as well as he looks over. “Are you having a party later or...” He trails off and I look at him kind of guiltily.
“Not exactly. Just been going through some stuff lately.” I say honestly even though I don't really want to get into it. He just shrugs though like it isn't a big deal.
“It happens right. Hey though if you get tired of the frozen stuff I'd be glad to have some company for dinner at a real restaurant.” He says but it kind of makes me freeze for a moment. I grin a little awkwardly at him.
“Um thanks. I think I'm good though. It was nice seeing you, Will.” I grab a box of corn dogs and hot pockets and quickly leave the aisle after that. I most be giving off some sort of pathetic vibe today because it sounded almost like he was asking me out on a pity dinner. I shake my head and go to the check out stands. Once I finish at the store though I find my phone ringing. I look at it and kind of sigh at seeing Jamie's name. “Hey Jamie, how you feeling?” I ask him now that it's been about a month and a half since the accident.
“I'm good. You don't need to ask every time we talk. Are you still coming over for dinner tonight? Please tell me you didn't forget again.” He says when I sigh and I shake my head a little. Of course I tried to forget but it was a big part of why I was drinking last night.
“I'll be there in about an hour alright.” I say with another sigh.
“You better be. I'll see you then okay.” Jamie says and I know he is getting fed up with me. I've blown him off the last two times he invited me over for dinner. I don't really have anything against Scott but it's hard for me to see them together. It's hard to see Jamie kissing him and not think about kissing Jamie myself. I still don't really understand it but I can't help being attracted to him. I bite my lip trying to think of if I should even go this time. I don't really have an excuse not to though with how Jamie just reminded me. I put my phone back in my pocket and head for my car. I head back to my own apartment first though I have to admit that I am wasting time. I throw the food in the freezer and go to take a shower.
I am trying to clear my mind but it isn't working. Strangely though I find myself thinking about Will instead of Jamie. Did he actually mean to ask me out like on a date? I would have been sure before that I don't give off a gay vibe but now after everything that has happened with Jamie I'm not so sure. Hell maybe I should actually give it a shot with Will he might know me better than I do. What am I thinking? I had one night thing with Jamie if you can even call it that. We were drunk and he gave me a blow job. I didn't even touch him. Yet here I am actually wondering if I should try to date a guy. None of my relationships with girls have worked out lately. Ah fuck it all, this is all just bullshit. I finish off in the shower and get out to dry off. I notice I'm looking a little scruffy but I don't even bother to care. I'm not exactly trying to impress anyone. I throw on a pair of dark blue jeans and tee shirt then grab some of the alcohol I just picked up at the store and head out to Jamie and Scott's place.
Since Jamie moved in with Scott after the accident he actually lives in this nice cushy house with him. I pull up to it and grab a beer before I even get out of the car. I down an entire can before I get to the door. I knock on the door and by the time that Jamie answers the alcohol is just starting to hit me. “Hey.” Jamie says as he opens the door but then he actually looks at me. I look at him as well and see that while the cast has been removed on his arm it is still in a sling. His leg though remains in a cast and he is using a cane to help get around. I can see him taking in how haggard I look right now. “Are you feeling ok? You really didn't have to come, I mean if you don't feel good.” He back peddles but I shrug him off.
“It's fine Jamie. I needed to get out of the house anyway. Here I brought drinks.” I tell him motioning to the case of beer in my hand.
“Thanks. Are we having a party? I think you over brought.” Jamie says with a laugh that sounds forced. I just shrug again and follow him into the living room. I can smell the food without even entering the kitchen. It smells good and makes me realize just how long it has been since I have had a good meal.
“So what are we eating anyway?” I ask and Jamie just laughs.
“Don't ask me I've learned to just go with it. It all tastes good and it's usually when I ask questions that I don't want to know. Hey Scott how much longer until it's all ready? Jeremy just got here.” Jamie says half leaning into the kitchen to talk to Scott as well as he sets the beers on the counter. He takes a beer for himself and hands me one as well. I take a drink but slower this time now that I'm being watched.
“Almost done about another ten minutes.” Scott answers without even peeking around to see me. Jamie smiles and looks back to me instead.
“So what's been going on with you lately? Not to be rude, but you look like crap.” Jamie tells me and I attempt to laugh. I follow him to the dining room table and sit down.
“Nothing really. Just haven't had a lot to be happy about lately.” I tell him mostly being honest but at the same time not really going into details. Jamie doesn't say anything for a few moments looking me over again.
“You really should find a hobby or something. Maybe someone new to date.” He says hesitantly like he isn't really sure what to say. I laugh a little though, thinking of Will again.
“I think I might need a little more time alone before getting into a relationship right now.” I tell him honestly thinking that I wouldn't even know where to start with dating right now. Jamie smiles and takes another drink of his beer not bothering to comment on that. At that moment though is when Scott walks in with food. An entire glazed ham on a platter with what looks to be mashed potatoes and bacon green beans. It all smells delicious and just the smell of it has my mouth watering. Scott sets the food down on the table and then smiles at Jamie.
“I heard you by the way. Not all of my food is strange. This is very normal. Garlic mashed potatoes, green beans sauteed in butter with bacon, and honey glazed ham. I have pull apart cheesy garlic bread too. Let me get it. I see you already have drinks.” Scott says with a look at the beer cans in both of our hands. Jamie laughs a little and grins back at Scott.
“Well Jeremy brought beer it would have been rude to refuse.” Jamie says with a look toward Scott as he goes back into the kitchen to get the rolls. “Besides you were the one that tried to feed me fish eggs and goose liver.” I watch Scott grab himself a beer and take a long drink before grabbing the pan of cheesy bread. Which also looks delicious.
“I'm sure it would be rude. It's nice to see you again Jeremy and thanks for the beer. I hope you enjoy the food. Jamie has been pestering me to cook normal food after I brought home some leftovers from a fancy dinner.” He says and I just laugh.
“Aren't those considered delicacies or something?” I ask trying to be polite and not just dive into the food.
“Yes they are, thank you. Just because it sounds weird doesn't mean it doesn't taste good.” He says with another pointed look at Jamie. Jamie merely shrugs his shoulders though.
“Still strange. In any case though all of this looks great. Come sit down and eat with us.” Jamie says with a grin as he obviously tries to kiss up to Scott. Scott sets the bread down as well and leans closer to Jamie lightly kissing his cheek before whispering something in his ear. I try to just smile but it still isn't easy for me. Neither of them seem to notice my awkwardness though, as they pull away and Scott sits down on the other side of Jamie.
“So Jamie are you going to be able to start working again soon? Or do you need to look for a new job?” I ask him knowing that now that his arm is mostly healed it can't be too much longer. He has been itching to get back to work for a while now. Jamie grins at me and moves his hand that is in the sling a bit.
“The doctor says I ought to be able to return to work in around another two weeks or so. I'm only allowed to use my arm for an hour or so right now. It's almost healed all the way though. My leg is going to take a little longer but as long as I have a chair by the DJ stand it isn't really an issue for work. Also the guys at the club said I can start up again as soon as I feel up to it. So it's all good.” He says with a grin though Scott doesn't seem as thrilled about Jamie going back to work as he is.
“There's no need to rush though is there?” Scott says looking at Jamie again. “You shouldn't push yourself.” He tells him softly as I see his arm move slightly and his hand slides onto Jamie's hip. I cough a little awkwardly and look at Scott.
“So can we get started eating then? It all looks delicious.” I say with and grin and Scott smiles back at me.
“Absolutely, dig in.” Scott says letting the subject drop for now. I pull the platter of food toward me and pile my plate high with food. The bread gets passed around as well and I take a big chunk of it. All the conversation dies down at that point as we all start eating. The food tastes as good as it smells and I find I'm shoving it down my throat pretty rapidly. Neither Jamie nor Scott seem to really notice though since there is plenty of food for all of us. By the time I finish eating I am stuffed and my beer is empty again.
“Well Scott, I have to say you are a really good cook. Thank you for dinner. Do you have anything else to drink? If I have any more beer then I probably shouldn't drive home.” I say with a smirk and Jamie laughs slightly without actually saying anything.
“Help yourself to whatever you find in the fridge. I think there's some soda in there.” Jamie tells me and I get up taking my dishes to the sink in the process. I open the fridge to see that Jamie is right and there are some sodas in there. I grab a cola and open it taking a drink as I hear Jamie and Scott get up as well. “Hey so Jeremy did you want to stick around a little? Or do you have a hot date?” Jamie says with a smirk and I know he is teasing me. I again think of Will though but I'm hesitant to say anything especially in front of Scott. I'm not really sure how much Jamie told him about us and me being I guess more bi curious.
“Nothing like that really.” I say softly but my eyes meet Jamie's and we both know there is more to it than that. He raises his eyebrows slightly and we walk into the living room while Scott puts away the food.
“So there is someone that you're interested in?” He says also softly and I sigh.
“It's not exactly like that. I'm a bit confused to honest. There's this client that comes to the salon every three weeks or so. Seems like a nice person and after what seemed like maybe flirting we saw each other at the store. He maybe asked me to dinner.” I say and Jamie's eyes widen a bit when I mention that it is a man.
“He?” Jamie asks clearly amazed and I place my hand quickly over his mouth.
“I told you I'm confused. It's not like anything happened. He seemed nice though.” I say honestly and Jamie laughs.
“So what's the big deal then? A single date isn't going to change everything.” He says and I know that he is trying his hardest not to make fun of me or something considering that I haven't been with a guy before and I've given him shit about it.
“He's a trucker. He isn't around very often. I'd be settling myself up for a long distance relationship as well.” I say though I have to admit I'm just looking for excuses now.
“So? Maybe that's a good thing. It's a nice excuse to take it slow. If he isn't around that much then he can't push you.” Jamie says and I have to admit that is some sound reasoning.
“It doesn't matter anyway. I kind of left quickly after he asked and blew him off. I don't have his number or anything so it's over.” I say with a shrug and Jamie smiles slightly.
“You never know. Take a chance.” He says but then Scott walks into the room and we both go silent. He looks at us for a moment but we both stay silent.
“Alright, have your secrets then. Jeremy did you want to stay a little longer? Watch some tv or something?” He asks and Jamie laughs a little.
“Actually I think I'm going to get going. Thanks for having me over though.” I tell him and Jamie leads me to the door.
“Seriously though, just give it a shot.” He tells me and I don't bother to retort that it isn't going to happen.
Oh god what the hell is wrong with me? I have never been with a guy before and yet Jamie, there is just something different about him. I mean he comes here after years of not seeing him and moves in. I thought it would be funny at first for him to dress up like a girl but it didn't end up the way I thought at all. Instead of it just being a funny little story though it did something to me. I mean seeing him like that I felt strangely attracted to him. Then that guy came around. Scott. It seemed that no matter what happened Jamie just couldn't shake him. I mean this guy actually thought he was dating a girl and even after finding out that Jamie is a guy he still kept dating him. How is that even an option? I don't think I could do the same if I had such a surprise foisted off on me. I mean how is it possible to so easily start out dating a woman and then find out that woman is really a man and not break up right away. That's a pretty big thing to consider before dating someone. But it wasn't like I didn't know about Jamie being a guy the whole time so why was I attracted at all? I need to find someone to date. Or a roommate maybe.
My last relationship didn't work out that well though. Talya was a great girl and yet all I could think of was Jamie. I mean she was interesting and hot and great in bed yet my mind was on Jamie the whole time. I mean it was why I ended up breaking up with Talya because it wasn't really working out. It's been a while since I've had a real relationship though. Most girls just assume I am gay since I work at a hair salon. It's not exactly the most masculine job in the world after all. Not that I don't have a few regular costumers that are women. Even some that flirt with me on a regular basis. Unfortunately those women are married and in their fifties. Not exactly what I'm looking for.
I head into the kitchen to find some food but my fridge is as empty as the rest of my house. All that's left is beer and ice cream. Shit. I slam the door shut and get dressed not really looking at my clothes. I get in the car stopping at drive thru coffee shop on the way and getting a triple shot of espresso and a couple of blueberry muffins. By the time I show up at work I'm still ten minutes late and only half way through my breakfast. “Jeremy, there you are. You're ten a clock has been waiting.” Cindy all but barks at me as I enter the door but I just wave her off. It isn't like it matters much I pay for my spot each month and bring in too many clients for me to really get fired.
I go to my chair and get it ready plugging in the hair drier and when I look over at my client I remember who he is. I smile slightly shaking my head before I take another bite of my muffin. I wave him over and the slight formed blonde walks right to me and sits down in the chair. “I was starting to worry you forgot about me.” He says with a wide grin and I shake my head.
“I had a bit of a late start today. Nothing to eat in the house.” I say with a gesture toward my still half eaten muffin and coffee on the table. He laughs as I try desperately to remember his name.
“I completely understand that. There is never food at my place. I'm never home long enough to cook proper food. It goes bad before I get home again.” He tells me with a laugh and I am able to remember that he is a truck driver. Thus why he only shows up every three weeks for a slight trim. His hair is actually very short just a slight fade but kept practically military short. I plug in the electric clippers and start running my fingers through his hair. It's grown maybe a quarter of an inch since I cut it last so it isn't really like he needs a cut at all.
“Have you thought of possibly getting some highlights? I swear it isn't just for girls.” I tell him with a grin even though I know it will delay my schedule further. He turns slightly looking at himself in the mirror as if trying to picture it.
“I don't know I'm already a bit of an odd ball being so small. If I get highlights I might just need to start hanging a rainbow flag from my antenna.” He jokes but I'm not sure if he means it will make him look gay or if he actually is. I shrug though combing his hair slightly to one side.
“Well it's up to you, it's getting pretty popular these days though, even with straight men.” I say still not sure if he is or not.
“Will it cost much extra?” He asks and I know he is close to agreeing.
“I tell you what, for this time I'll do it at half price just fifteen on top of the haircut. If you like it we'll do touch ups when you get your hair cut. If not then it will get cut out quickly with how much you get your hair cut.” I tell him and he smiles again.
“Well with a deal like that I think I'll have to accept.” He tells me and I go through his hair once more looking for the natural colors already present and trying to decide which to highlight. His hair mostly blonde but with some browns and golden almost reds thrown in. I pick out a couple of light golden browns and another shade of blonde as well. Then get to sectioning his hair and start mixing the chemicals. It doesn't take long for me to color his hair with how short it is. Still since I was already late and he was only scheduled for a cut but the time I have all of the foil in my next client is here.
“Alright well it takes about twenty minutes for the color to set. Once it is done Charlie will rinse you off and we will cut your hair. Have a seat right there, there are plenty of magazines to keep you busy. I'll see you in about thirty minutes.” I tell him leading him over to waiting area. I look at the sheet of appointments quickly noticing that his name is William. Still I ignore that for now and look at the next name instead. Lucy. “Lucy.” I say looking out and quickly finding the older woman that looks up. Although Lucille is probably in her late fifties her body is in great shape other than the slight wrinkles. Though I'm sure that its a combination of surgery, exercise, and extreme dieting. She's on her forth husband and loves to gossip. Another regular though since she is slightly delusional she insists on coloring her hair every two weeks to get rid of the gray. I grin and show Lucy right over to my chair. Since she's a regular I quickly go to pulling out the right colors and start combing her hair to see where the roots have actually grown. Once again there isn't much to actually do here. I touch up a few spots quickly before sending her to sit.
By this time Charlie has just finished rinsing out William's hair and I grin at my timing. I wave him over again but this time I remember his name. “Alright William, let's do the cut and see how your hair has turned out.” I tell him pulling the cape over him again. I'm a little surprised when he laughs again though.
“You know you forget my name about nine out of ten of the times that I'm here. Which is sad for how often I come here. I've told you several times to call me Will.” He says with a grin and I laugh as well.
“I'm sorry. I will try my best to remember that this time.” I tell him honestly and he grins at me.
“It's ok.” He says softly and I run my fingers through his newly colored hair. It's already mostly dry with how short it is. I grab my clippers and start in on his hair going for a very slight fade just a touch longer on the top than the sides and back. I find myself really liking how it turns out and I grab a comb with just a bit of touch of gel on it to flip up the front. It only takes me around fifteen minutes to finish his hair. I pull off the cape and brush off his shoulders before turning him around to see the mirror. Will looks at himself in the mirror turning his head a little to see the highlights. “Well I have to say you were right. It looks really good. Thanks, Jeremy.” He says and it's clear that says my name almost like to rub it in my face that he can remember.
“Well I'm glad you like it. I'm all done here and Cindy will cash you out.” I tell him but he seems almost reluctant to leave. “Was there anything else?” I ask him and he hesitates then shakes his head.
“Um, no I'll see you in a few weeks.” He tells me with a bit of a grin and he heads over to reception desk. I smile slightly and go back to working with Lucy finishing her up. I have a few more clients before I call it a day at three p.m. I head to the grocery store right after work figuring I should probably actually pick up some food for the apartment. I head over to the frozen dinner area as I lean over to look at the freezers though I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Will again.
“Hey, I see that you decided to pick up some food too.” He says with a grin and I laugh.
“Yea I see we have the same taste too, or we both just can't cook.” I tell him and Will laughs again.
“Or maybe we just don't have time huh? Actually I eat out a lot but it gets pretty lonely. Thought I'd spend a night at home and maybe watch a movie or something.” He tells me and I nod thinking of how many nights lately I've spent doing the same thing. My cart is also half full of alcohol though since that has made up probably ninety percent of my calorie intake lately. Will seems to notice this as well as he looks over. “Are you having a party later or...” He trails off and I look at him kind of guiltily.
“Not exactly. Just been going through some stuff lately.” I say honestly even though I don't really want to get into it. He just shrugs though like it isn't a big deal.
“It happens right. Hey though if you get tired of the frozen stuff I'd be glad to have some company for dinner at a real restaurant.” He says but it kind of makes me freeze for a moment. I grin a little awkwardly at him.
“Um thanks. I think I'm good though. It was nice seeing you, Will.” I grab a box of corn dogs and hot pockets and quickly leave the aisle after that. I most be giving off some sort of pathetic vibe today because it sounded almost like he was asking me out on a pity dinner. I shake my head and go to the check out stands. Once I finish at the store though I find my phone ringing. I look at it and kind of sigh at seeing Jamie's name. “Hey Jamie, how you feeling?” I ask him now that it's been about a month and a half since the accident.
“I'm good. You don't need to ask every time we talk. Are you still coming over for dinner tonight? Please tell me you didn't forget again.” He says when I sigh and I shake my head a little. Of course I tried to forget but it was a big part of why I was drinking last night.
“I'll be there in about an hour alright.” I say with another sigh.
“You better be. I'll see you then okay.” Jamie says and I know he is getting fed up with me. I've blown him off the last two times he invited me over for dinner. I don't really have anything against Scott but it's hard for me to see them together. It's hard to see Jamie kissing him and not think about kissing Jamie myself. I still don't really understand it but I can't help being attracted to him. I bite my lip trying to think of if I should even go this time. I don't really have an excuse not to though with how Jamie just reminded me. I put my phone back in my pocket and head for my car. I head back to my own apartment first though I have to admit that I am wasting time. I throw the food in the freezer and go to take a shower.
I am trying to clear my mind but it isn't working. Strangely though I find myself thinking about Will instead of Jamie. Did he actually mean to ask me out like on a date? I would have been sure before that I don't give off a gay vibe but now after everything that has happened with Jamie I'm not so sure. Hell maybe I should actually give it a shot with Will he might know me better than I do. What am I thinking? I had one night thing with Jamie if you can even call it that. We were drunk and he gave me a blow job. I didn't even touch him. Yet here I am actually wondering if I should try to date a guy. None of my relationships with girls have worked out lately. Ah fuck it all, this is all just bullshit. I finish off in the shower and get out to dry off. I notice I'm looking a little scruffy but I don't even bother to care. I'm not exactly trying to impress anyone. I throw on a pair of dark blue jeans and tee shirt then grab some of the alcohol I just picked up at the store and head out to Jamie and Scott's place.
Since Jamie moved in with Scott after the accident he actually lives in this nice cushy house with him. I pull up to it and grab a beer before I even get out of the car. I down an entire can before I get to the door. I knock on the door and by the time that Jamie answers the alcohol is just starting to hit me. “Hey.” Jamie says as he opens the door but then he actually looks at me. I look at him as well and see that while the cast has been removed on his arm it is still in a sling. His leg though remains in a cast and he is using a cane to help get around. I can see him taking in how haggard I look right now. “Are you feeling ok? You really didn't have to come, I mean if you don't feel good.” He back peddles but I shrug him off.
“It's fine Jamie. I needed to get out of the house anyway. Here I brought drinks.” I tell him motioning to the case of beer in my hand.
“Thanks. Are we having a party? I think you over brought.” Jamie says with a laugh that sounds forced. I just shrug again and follow him into the living room. I can smell the food without even entering the kitchen. It smells good and makes me realize just how long it has been since I have had a good meal.
“So what are we eating anyway?” I ask and Jamie just laughs.
“Don't ask me I've learned to just go with it. It all tastes good and it's usually when I ask questions that I don't want to know. Hey Scott how much longer until it's all ready? Jeremy just got here.” Jamie says half leaning into the kitchen to talk to Scott as well as he sets the beers on the counter. He takes a beer for himself and hands me one as well. I take a drink but slower this time now that I'm being watched.
“Almost done about another ten minutes.” Scott answers without even peeking around to see me. Jamie smiles and looks back to me instead.
“So what's been going on with you lately? Not to be rude, but you look like crap.” Jamie tells me and I attempt to laugh. I follow him to the dining room table and sit down.
“Nothing really. Just haven't had a lot to be happy about lately.” I tell him mostly being honest but at the same time not really going into details. Jamie doesn't say anything for a few moments looking me over again.
“You really should find a hobby or something. Maybe someone new to date.” He says hesitantly like he isn't really sure what to say. I laugh a little though, thinking of Will again.
“I think I might need a little more time alone before getting into a relationship right now.” I tell him honestly thinking that I wouldn't even know where to start with dating right now. Jamie smiles and takes another drink of his beer not bothering to comment on that. At that moment though is when Scott walks in with food. An entire glazed ham on a platter with what looks to be mashed potatoes and bacon green beans. It all smells delicious and just the smell of it has my mouth watering. Scott sets the food down on the table and then smiles at Jamie.
“I heard you by the way. Not all of my food is strange. This is very normal. Garlic mashed potatoes, green beans sauteed in butter with bacon, and honey glazed ham. I have pull apart cheesy garlic bread too. Let me get it. I see you already have drinks.” Scott says with a look at the beer cans in both of our hands. Jamie laughs a little and grins back at Scott.
“Well Jeremy brought beer it would have been rude to refuse.” Jamie says with a look toward Scott as he goes back into the kitchen to get the rolls. “Besides you were the one that tried to feed me fish eggs and goose liver.” I watch Scott grab himself a beer and take a long drink before grabbing the pan of cheesy bread. Which also looks delicious.
“I'm sure it would be rude. It's nice to see you again Jeremy and thanks for the beer. I hope you enjoy the food. Jamie has been pestering me to cook normal food after I brought home some leftovers from a fancy dinner.” He says and I just laugh.
“Aren't those considered delicacies or something?” I ask trying to be polite and not just dive into the food.
“Yes they are, thank you. Just because it sounds weird doesn't mean it doesn't taste good.” He says with another pointed look at Jamie. Jamie merely shrugs his shoulders though.
“Still strange. In any case though all of this looks great. Come sit down and eat with us.” Jamie says with a grin as he obviously tries to kiss up to Scott. Scott sets the bread down as well and leans closer to Jamie lightly kissing his cheek before whispering something in his ear. I try to just smile but it still isn't easy for me. Neither of them seem to notice my awkwardness though, as they pull away and Scott sits down on the other side of Jamie.
“So Jamie are you going to be able to start working again soon? Or do you need to look for a new job?” I ask him knowing that now that his arm is mostly healed it can't be too much longer. He has been itching to get back to work for a while now. Jamie grins at me and moves his hand that is in the sling a bit.
“The doctor says I ought to be able to return to work in around another two weeks or so. I'm only allowed to use my arm for an hour or so right now. It's almost healed all the way though. My leg is going to take a little longer but as long as I have a chair by the DJ stand it isn't really an issue for work. Also the guys at the club said I can start up again as soon as I feel up to it. So it's all good.” He says with a grin though Scott doesn't seem as thrilled about Jamie going back to work as he is.
“There's no need to rush though is there?” Scott says looking at Jamie again. “You shouldn't push yourself.” He tells him softly as I see his arm move slightly and his hand slides onto Jamie's hip. I cough a little awkwardly and look at Scott.
“So can we get started eating then? It all looks delicious.” I say with and grin and Scott smiles back at me.
“Absolutely, dig in.” Scott says letting the subject drop for now. I pull the platter of food toward me and pile my plate high with food. The bread gets passed around as well and I take a big chunk of it. All the conversation dies down at that point as we all start eating. The food tastes as good as it smells and I find I'm shoving it down my throat pretty rapidly. Neither Jamie nor Scott seem to really notice though since there is plenty of food for all of us. By the time I finish eating I am stuffed and my beer is empty again.
“Well Scott, I have to say you are a really good cook. Thank you for dinner. Do you have anything else to drink? If I have any more beer then I probably shouldn't drive home.” I say with a smirk and Jamie laughs slightly without actually saying anything.
“Help yourself to whatever you find in the fridge. I think there's some soda in there.” Jamie tells me and I get up taking my dishes to the sink in the process. I open the fridge to see that Jamie is right and there are some sodas in there. I grab a cola and open it taking a drink as I hear Jamie and Scott get up as well. “Hey so Jeremy did you want to stick around a little? Or do you have a hot date?” Jamie says with a smirk and I know he is teasing me. I again think of Will though but I'm hesitant to say anything especially in front of Scott. I'm not really sure how much Jamie told him about us and me being I guess more bi curious.
“Nothing like that really.” I say softly but my eyes meet Jamie's and we both know there is more to it than that. He raises his eyebrows slightly and we walk into the living room while Scott puts away the food.
“So there is someone that you're interested in?” He says also softly and I sigh.
“It's not exactly like that. I'm a bit confused to honest. There's this client that comes to the salon every three weeks or so. Seems like a nice person and after what seemed like maybe flirting we saw each other at the store. He maybe asked me to dinner.” I say and Jamie's eyes widen a bit when I mention that it is a man.
“He?” Jamie asks clearly amazed and I place my hand quickly over his mouth.
“I told you I'm confused. It's not like anything happened. He seemed nice though.” I say honestly and Jamie laughs.
“So what's the big deal then? A single date isn't going to change everything.” He says and I know that he is trying his hardest not to make fun of me or something considering that I haven't been with a guy before and I've given him shit about it.
“He's a trucker. He isn't around very often. I'd be settling myself up for a long distance relationship as well.” I say though I have to admit I'm just looking for excuses now.
“So? Maybe that's a good thing. It's a nice excuse to take it slow. If he isn't around that much then he can't push you.” Jamie says and I have to admit that is some sound reasoning.
“It doesn't matter anyway. I kind of left quickly after he asked and blew him off. I don't have his number or anything so it's over.” I say with a shrug and Jamie smiles slightly.
“You never know. Take a chance.” He says but then Scott walks into the room and we both go silent. He looks at us for a moment but we both stay silent.
“Alright, have your secrets then. Jeremy did you want to stay a little longer? Watch some tv or something?” He asks and Jamie laughs a little.
“Actually I think I'm going to get going. Thanks for having me over though.” I tell him and Jamie leads me to the door.
“Seriously though, just give it a shot.” He tells me and I don't bother to retort that it isn't going to happen.