Chapter 5
The remaining events for the tournament are today, including the two I have to go against Mikhail in. I feel conflicted about that because on one hand I do not want to lose to him, but at the same time I do not want him to leave. I also don’t know how to tell him that. All the same I head to the court to put on my armor for the sword fight. This time as I am getting ready Mikhail is as well so he is not looking over me watching as I put on my armor.
As I watch the first few sword fights I smile at how easily Mikhail manages to defeat his opponents. They clearly do not expect him to move so quickly with his sword and that allows him to beat them with the surprise. I am half glad I have already fought again Mikhail in the practice ring since it gives me a slight advantage. All the same I do not feel overly confident as I step into the ring with him. We have fought a few opponents by this point but neither of us seems to have been slowed down by it. We move carefully at first trying to get a feel for the other but we seem rather evenly matched. Our swords ring loudly as we keep parrying and countering and dodging. Neither of us seems to be able to land a hit. I go in for a hit to his chest and right when he moves to block me I move again and aim for his leg. Mikhail does not see it coming this time and while he attempts to dodge I still manage to hit him high on his thigh.
I smile but do not have time to think as he moves quickly to attack me. I dodge his first attempt and quickly move to counter his second attempt. We keep trying to hit each other but my hit remains the only one. Eventually we are told that the round is over and I am named the winner this time. We are both breathing heavily as we step back from each other and sheath our swords. I reach out my hand to him. “Good match.” I tell him with a smile and he grins back at me before shaking my hand.
“Congratulations.” He tells me and he doesn’t seem to angered at my victory. “I guess it all comes down to our next match then.” He says with a smile and I just nod. We walk back to remove our armor. “Would you like to come and get a drink with me?” Mikhail asks me and I nod to him feeling like I could use it before we have to start our next event. I follow him to where a vendor has set up a large keg of ale and upon seeing us the vendor immediately hands us both a mug. Mikhail tosses a coin to the vendor and we both walk to the stands to watch the next event before we compete again.
I take a drink wondering which of us will be better in the horse race. I know his mare is likely to be fast but in the course there will be other things to test our riding skills. I’m sure there will be jumps and possibly a river to ford along the way to the finish. I am sure he will manage just as well as he has in the last two events though. If anything he has proven himself to be quite an opponent in anything and since he chose the events I do not see him being inferior at it.
All the same I start thinking about the meaning of the outcome of these events rather then the event itself. There is a fair chance of either of us winning at this point but I am still unsure if I really want to win. If winning means that Mikhail will stop kissing me and even leave is it worth winning? I can’t help but to feel nervous at the thought of it all. I have to admit that I really liked kissing him all the times that we have done so. I also think that I am starting to like him for who he is if not feeling necessarily physically attracted. In fact I think the only reason I am so hesitant to be physical is because I do not know what to expect and whether it will hurt him.
Before I get too much time to worry myself we are called to get ready for the horse race. I saddle up Brimstone and for a moment look at his cold eyes before mounting up. The other men around me mount their horses as well and I see Mikhail smile at me from astride his mare. I wish him good luck silently even though I am rather sure he will not need it. Then one of the officials hits a gong and we all race into the wooded area before us.
I loose sight of most of my opponents right from the beginning as I make my way through the easier parts of the wood first. I come across a fallen tree that Brimstone easily jumps it but before much longer I come across another obstacle that makes me turn around completely. As I turn around I catch sight of a yellow flag pointing the way back to the course and follow it to find my way back to the finish.
As I head toward the end I see that I am not the first but Mikhail is not either. Branches break nearby and I see Mikhail breaking a trail through a swift running river. For a moment I am unsure if his mare can power through it but she pushes forward with the both of them leaving the way open from my hesitation. I renew my efforts to finish then but the damage seems to be done as Mikhail crosses just ahead of me. All the same his eyes look to me not gloating but merely curious and I know he saw me hesitate.
We both watch as the rest of the riders are called in and then the winner is named. I have to admit to myself that I have made Mikhail the winner of our personal competition without even trying. He seems to realize the lapse on my part, as he does not attempt to even mention his win while we are still so surrounded. Mikhail just congratulates our better and retreats to sit with Father in the stands. I flee to the stalls again to get another drink.
I don’t know what came over me to make me hesitate but I wasn’t thinking about not wanting him to leave or possibly liking him. All I was thinking was I didn’t want to see the river swallow him up. I slam the ale back intending on dulling my senses for the night rather then avoiding it as I did on yesterday. By the time I return from the stalls to preside over the remaining events I have had a few cups and I still carry one in my hand.
That night I partake in the drinking and merrymaking of the tournament as much as all the others and it seems to be Mikhail who is aloof of all the festivities. So by the time I stumble back to my room I am not exactly alarmed to see Mikhail waiting for me. “Are you okay?” He asks me and while my brain is barely able to make out the irony of my words being repeated I can’t think of anything to say in return.
“You won already just let me sleep.” I slur at him trying to push past to my rooms. He moves in front of me though not letting me pass.
“Since I won I was thinking maybe you would let me have a little prize.” He tells me before he just leans in and kisses me again. This time I’m too drunk to tell how much he has drank and I do not care either. I just give myself into the kiss sloppily attempting to attach my lips to his. His hand slides onto my hip before heading toward the rising bulge in my trousers. “Let me come in the room.” He coos in my ear and as his hand curls around my flesh through the fabric I am of a mind to let him do whatever he wants.
I push past him successfully this time but as I open my door I turn to motion for him to follow with my chin. He follows me in kissing my lips again when we are alone in my room. His hands roam my body caressing skin through the silken clothes making me sigh into the deep kiss. I loose track of where all the touching happens just as I loose track of my clothing. I find myself with Mikhail in my bed but very calm as he works me to orgasm, I black out after that.
In the morning I come to, slowly. I take in my surroundings carefully one by one. A body is next to me. It’s Mikhail. He is completely unclothed. So am I. We are both crusty with seed and I am unsure if it is just mine. I vaguely remember his hand working me to spill all over both of us but I cannot remember him undressing or cumming as well. He stirs slightly beside me and I keep still not wanting to wake him yet. When it seems as if he is not waking though I move out of the bed. I splash water on my face first from the cool basin before splashing some on my body as well.
I attempt to scrub the crust from my skin and manage most of it before I hear the door opening. It takes me a moment to realize it is the main door to my chamber rather then Mikhail opening the door to the bathing chamber where I am. I quickly move to the room where I know Charles has just entered. Shocked eyes meet mine for only a moment before shying away completely. “I do not want your services today please leave.” I tell him quickly even though I do not move to cover my body at all.
Charles leaves right away with a slight nod but then I hear Mikhail moving in my bed chamber and I hesitantly make myself return to it. He has moved to the edge of the bed sitting on it and now looking me over as I walk in naked. I want to run right back out of the room but I am feeling a bit delicate from my drinking last night. “Good morning.” He tells me looking right into my eyes despite my nude body. I try to look him in the eyes at well but fail to meet his gaze and look at the floor instead.
“Please get dressed.” I tell him quietly while I go to move towards the bathing chamber again.
“You certainly are bright and cheery this morning.” Mikhail says to me and when I turn to look at him again he has stood up and is as naked as I am. I cannot stop the cursory glance to see that he isn’t small or currently soft for that matter. I look away trying to keep the blush from staining my cheeks but knowing he is likely to see it. “I don’t mind. You can look all you like.” Mikhail says softly his voice seeming to float towards me almost. Instead of doing as he says or even mentioning anything similar, I walk right into my bathing chambers and start to run the water.
The noise blocks out any possible ones that Mikhail might be making. All I know is that he does not follow me into the room. There are no sounds coming from my chambers when I stop the water tap and slide my naked body into the water. I relax for only a few moments before I hear footsteps follow me in. Mikhail is still naked as he steps into the room and therefore my view. “I am not going to let you pretend nothing happened.” He says softly but all the same he does not step closer to me either.
“I am aware of what happened.” I say before smiling a little since that’s not entirely true due to how much I drank. “Mostly. I just do not want to talk about it right now.” I tell him not sure if he will understand what I mean or not. All the same I do not care.
“Do you mind if I join you?” He asks me and I really do not like the idea. All the same he takes a step closer to me and I cannot get myself to speak up. He walks right up to me and slides his body down into the water with mine. The bath is big enough to where we both fit comfortably without touching but I am still surprised that he does not touch me. It is better slightly to have him in the water with me because now I can meet his eyes since we are both covered by the water.
Neither of us speaks nor moves for several moments, just relaxing in the warm water. I am glad that I did not drink enough to be sick as I have just a heavy headache that is bearable as long as I do not think too hard. “I apologize.” Mikhail says lightly and I look at him a bit amused at his apology.
“For what?” I ask trying still to put all of this off until my head feels better.
“You let me win and last night I took advantage of you and how much you drank.” Mikhail says now and I think again on how I hesitated during the race. I stay quiet now unsure how to respond when I did not mean for him to win I just was worried for him for a moment.
“I did not mean for you to win. I just saw you fording the river and it looked like you were having trouble. It made me hesitate and you moved before I did.” I tell him honestly even though it shows now that at least at the time I was not thinking about how I do not want him to leave. He says nothing right away and I wonder if maybe he had thought I lost on purpose because of some sort of feelings for him.
Then he just slowly nods as if confirming something to himself. “I thought it might be something like that. I just got a little carried away because I thought you wanted me to stay. Then you got so drunk that it was just too easy to kiss you and everything else.” He says his voice softly trailing off as he smiles seeming to remember much better than I do. I honestly do not know if I am happy that I cannot remember or not.
“I do not remember very much about last night.” I tell him a little amazed by my own comment but he just nods again. He does not offer to explain and I am still unsure if I want him to or not. One thing I do remember though is that I was not fighting him in the act at all.
“I do not want to push you. I understand that we agreed to try this for real and I did not help by last night. Let’s just take this a little slower okay.” He tells me and I just nod unsure what to say still. He smiles then looking at me almost lustfully. “Unless you do not want to slow down.” He mentions as if it means nothing to him but I know I have to give him a real answer this time.
“I am unsure what I want.” I answer slowly trying to be as honest as possible. “Maybe we should just see what happens.” I tell him seeing as that is what led to last night’s actions as well as the few kisses before that. “I do not mind kissing you though.” I say softly because in light of last night kissing him really does not seem as bad and though I may not remember everything I know that I liked it.
He smiles at me wider now and leans forward towards me. I try to relax at feeling his body so close when he moves the last few inches and places his lips on mine. The kiss is slow and lingering but just the thought that we are both naked and so close makes me want to make it deeper. I fight the impulse to kiss him harder and end up pulling away all together. “Well I guess that is a step forward at least.” He tells me with a grin before he relaxes back into his position away from me.
“I still want you to get dressed.” I say to him unsure of why entirely other than the fact that I do not want him to think I want anything more right now. My words just make Mikhail laugh though.
“I know.” He tells me lightly with a smile and then he grabs one of the bottles of cleaning liquid and pours a small amount of it in one hand. Then he moves closer to me and smiles. “Do you mind if I wash you?” He asks me sweetly and I know I have to be stupid but still I answer him.
“You can if you want.” I tell him my voice barely loud at all but he seems to hear me. He moves to sit right next to me now so that our legs are pressed against each other. He moves his hands then to my hair and starts to work the solution into it. Even though I am used to having Charles clean me this feels entirely different. Mikhail’s hands move over my head in a hard but soothing fashion that completely relaxes me. I truly stop thinking at that point and relax so much that I stop really paying attention.
His hands move past my hair down to my neck massaging it gently. Then his lips touch mine again and I relax into that as well moving my lips with his and then my tongue when he opens his lips against mine. His hands keep going further down to my back massaging the muscles there too. Somehow the kiss stays light but his hands working me over make me uncaring about anything other than those lips. His hands grip my hips and I relax spreading my legs wider and he crawls between them.
For a moment I clue in to what is happening when he places himself between my legs, but then he kisses me again and this time it is deeper. His tongue twines with mine as his hands work the muscles in my lower back and hips and I can’t find it in myself to do more then respond when he pushes his body closer and I feel how hard he is. I kiss back hard feeling my body respond easily as his hand moves to wrap around my thickening erection. My hips react automatically thrusting up into his grip as I moan into his mouth.
His unoccupied hand grabs one of mine and pulls it down his body to his hardened flesh. When my hand closes around the hot column of skin I manage to think of just what my hand is around and it pulls me out of my mindset all together. I look at him for a moment shocked that I would allow this and find myself mad at him for being able to push me into it so easily. “Mikhail, leave right now.” I tell him harshly and he just looks at me for a moment before getting out of the tub and doing as I say.
I just stay there for a few moments trying to catch my breath and still unsure if I want to think about what just happened or not. Obviously I was not exactly fighting him but I was caught unaware at the same time. I was just so relaxed and after how much I drank I was practically falling asleep in his hands. It was just too easy for him to move with me gently and fall into his hands. The thing is I do not know how to be angry with him because I liked it.
It is getting harder and harder for me to argue against having a physical relationship with Mikhail. Regardless of how he pushes me into it I still seem to want what offers. My body reacts instantly and maybe that is more why I get offended than him pushing it on me. It is one thing to admit that I might like him but to see my body react in such a way is a bit disorientating. In fact it is overwhelming to watch how I do not try to fight at all when he pushes. It was one thing when I was drunk last night but now when I am just hung over and not under any other substance it was too much to realize what was going on.
Maybe if Mikhail was able to take this slower like he keeps saying it would not be as hard to handle. Add to that the fact that I am still having trouble with the fact that we are both men. Really it was feeling his body and its reaction to me that snapped me out of all of it. I know I really need to talk to him and soon before he takes this any further.
I climb out of the bath and drain it before drying off and walking back to my rooms. I am glad to see them unoccupied of both Mikhail and Charles as I put on my clothes slowly. I take a deep breath and knock on the door that connects my chambers with Mikhail’s. It takes a few moments for him to answer me and when he does I see he must have finished cleaning in his own chambers since he is still wet and only half-dressed. Luckily for me though he is just without a shirt and I find that easier to deal with than him being completely naked again.
Mikhail does not say a word clearly waiting for me to speak. “This needs to stop.” I tell him hearing harshness in my voice that I know I do not mean. It is more along the lines that I am scared but I do not want to tell him that. Mikhail stays quiet though and then he just nods.
“I understand and I am sorry. I will leave if you still want me to.” He tells me slowly and I can tell that he means it regardless of our past conversations and regardless of him winning our competition.
“I do not want you to leave.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Then I find his eyes looking at me in awe almost like he cannot believe what I am saying. “Please, just say you will not leave.” I tell him softly and it seems completely sincere when he smiles again and leans towards me.
“I want to stay, I just cannot control myself around you and it seems to just make things worse.” He sighs and despite how close we are neither of us moves to close the small gap between our lips.
“Let’s start by you staying clothed around me.” I tell him even though the way my voice has gotten so airy and slightly lustful does not help my case. He just chuckles slightly.
“If you want me to, I will try. You have to do one thing for me though. Do not make such a tempting target of yourself and speak up before it gets to that point.” He tells me and all I can do is nod.
As I watch the first few sword fights I smile at how easily Mikhail manages to defeat his opponents. They clearly do not expect him to move so quickly with his sword and that allows him to beat them with the surprise. I am half glad I have already fought again Mikhail in the practice ring since it gives me a slight advantage. All the same I do not feel overly confident as I step into the ring with him. We have fought a few opponents by this point but neither of us seems to have been slowed down by it. We move carefully at first trying to get a feel for the other but we seem rather evenly matched. Our swords ring loudly as we keep parrying and countering and dodging. Neither of us seems to be able to land a hit. I go in for a hit to his chest and right when he moves to block me I move again and aim for his leg. Mikhail does not see it coming this time and while he attempts to dodge I still manage to hit him high on his thigh.
I smile but do not have time to think as he moves quickly to attack me. I dodge his first attempt and quickly move to counter his second attempt. We keep trying to hit each other but my hit remains the only one. Eventually we are told that the round is over and I am named the winner this time. We are both breathing heavily as we step back from each other and sheath our swords. I reach out my hand to him. “Good match.” I tell him with a smile and he grins back at me before shaking my hand.
“Congratulations.” He tells me and he doesn’t seem to angered at my victory. “I guess it all comes down to our next match then.” He says with a smile and I just nod. We walk back to remove our armor. “Would you like to come and get a drink with me?” Mikhail asks me and I nod to him feeling like I could use it before we have to start our next event. I follow him to where a vendor has set up a large keg of ale and upon seeing us the vendor immediately hands us both a mug. Mikhail tosses a coin to the vendor and we both walk to the stands to watch the next event before we compete again.
I take a drink wondering which of us will be better in the horse race. I know his mare is likely to be fast but in the course there will be other things to test our riding skills. I’m sure there will be jumps and possibly a river to ford along the way to the finish. I am sure he will manage just as well as he has in the last two events though. If anything he has proven himself to be quite an opponent in anything and since he chose the events I do not see him being inferior at it.
All the same I start thinking about the meaning of the outcome of these events rather then the event itself. There is a fair chance of either of us winning at this point but I am still unsure if I really want to win. If winning means that Mikhail will stop kissing me and even leave is it worth winning? I can’t help but to feel nervous at the thought of it all. I have to admit that I really liked kissing him all the times that we have done so. I also think that I am starting to like him for who he is if not feeling necessarily physically attracted. In fact I think the only reason I am so hesitant to be physical is because I do not know what to expect and whether it will hurt him.
Before I get too much time to worry myself we are called to get ready for the horse race. I saddle up Brimstone and for a moment look at his cold eyes before mounting up. The other men around me mount their horses as well and I see Mikhail smile at me from astride his mare. I wish him good luck silently even though I am rather sure he will not need it. Then one of the officials hits a gong and we all race into the wooded area before us.
I loose sight of most of my opponents right from the beginning as I make my way through the easier parts of the wood first. I come across a fallen tree that Brimstone easily jumps it but before much longer I come across another obstacle that makes me turn around completely. As I turn around I catch sight of a yellow flag pointing the way back to the course and follow it to find my way back to the finish.
As I head toward the end I see that I am not the first but Mikhail is not either. Branches break nearby and I see Mikhail breaking a trail through a swift running river. For a moment I am unsure if his mare can power through it but she pushes forward with the both of them leaving the way open from my hesitation. I renew my efforts to finish then but the damage seems to be done as Mikhail crosses just ahead of me. All the same his eyes look to me not gloating but merely curious and I know he saw me hesitate.
We both watch as the rest of the riders are called in and then the winner is named. I have to admit to myself that I have made Mikhail the winner of our personal competition without even trying. He seems to realize the lapse on my part, as he does not attempt to even mention his win while we are still so surrounded. Mikhail just congratulates our better and retreats to sit with Father in the stands. I flee to the stalls again to get another drink.
I don’t know what came over me to make me hesitate but I wasn’t thinking about not wanting him to leave or possibly liking him. All I was thinking was I didn’t want to see the river swallow him up. I slam the ale back intending on dulling my senses for the night rather then avoiding it as I did on yesterday. By the time I return from the stalls to preside over the remaining events I have had a few cups and I still carry one in my hand.
That night I partake in the drinking and merrymaking of the tournament as much as all the others and it seems to be Mikhail who is aloof of all the festivities. So by the time I stumble back to my room I am not exactly alarmed to see Mikhail waiting for me. “Are you okay?” He asks me and while my brain is barely able to make out the irony of my words being repeated I can’t think of anything to say in return.
“You won already just let me sleep.” I slur at him trying to push past to my rooms. He moves in front of me though not letting me pass.
“Since I won I was thinking maybe you would let me have a little prize.” He tells me before he just leans in and kisses me again. This time I’m too drunk to tell how much he has drank and I do not care either. I just give myself into the kiss sloppily attempting to attach my lips to his. His hand slides onto my hip before heading toward the rising bulge in my trousers. “Let me come in the room.” He coos in my ear and as his hand curls around my flesh through the fabric I am of a mind to let him do whatever he wants.
I push past him successfully this time but as I open my door I turn to motion for him to follow with my chin. He follows me in kissing my lips again when we are alone in my room. His hands roam my body caressing skin through the silken clothes making me sigh into the deep kiss. I loose track of where all the touching happens just as I loose track of my clothing. I find myself with Mikhail in my bed but very calm as he works me to orgasm, I black out after that.
In the morning I come to, slowly. I take in my surroundings carefully one by one. A body is next to me. It’s Mikhail. He is completely unclothed. So am I. We are both crusty with seed and I am unsure if it is just mine. I vaguely remember his hand working me to spill all over both of us but I cannot remember him undressing or cumming as well. He stirs slightly beside me and I keep still not wanting to wake him yet. When it seems as if he is not waking though I move out of the bed. I splash water on my face first from the cool basin before splashing some on my body as well.
I attempt to scrub the crust from my skin and manage most of it before I hear the door opening. It takes me a moment to realize it is the main door to my chamber rather then Mikhail opening the door to the bathing chamber where I am. I quickly move to the room where I know Charles has just entered. Shocked eyes meet mine for only a moment before shying away completely. “I do not want your services today please leave.” I tell him quickly even though I do not move to cover my body at all.
Charles leaves right away with a slight nod but then I hear Mikhail moving in my bed chamber and I hesitantly make myself return to it. He has moved to the edge of the bed sitting on it and now looking me over as I walk in naked. I want to run right back out of the room but I am feeling a bit delicate from my drinking last night. “Good morning.” He tells me looking right into my eyes despite my nude body. I try to look him in the eyes at well but fail to meet his gaze and look at the floor instead.
“Please get dressed.” I tell him quietly while I go to move towards the bathing chamber again.
“You certainly are bright and cheery this morning.” Mikhail says to me and when I turn to look at him again he has stood up and is as naked as I am. I cannot stop the cursory glance to see that he isn’t small or currently soft for that matter. I look away trying to keep the blush from staining my cheeks but knowing he is likely to see it. “I don’t mind. You can look all you like.” Mikhail says softly his voice seeming to float towards me almost. Instead of doing as he says or even mentioning anything similar, I walk right into my bathing chambers and start to run the water.
The noise blocks out any possible ones that Mikhail might be making. All I know is that he does not follow me into the room. There are no sounds coming from my chambers when I stop the water tap and slide my naked body into the water. I relax for only a few moments before I hear footsteps follow me in. Mikhail is still naked as he steps into the room and therefore my view. “I am not going to let you pretend nothing happened.” He says softly but all the same he does not step closer to me either.
“I am aware of what happened.” I say before smiling a little since that’s not entirely true due to how much I drank. “Mostly. I just do not want to talk about it right now.” I tell him not sure if he will understand what I mean or not. All the same I do not care.
“Do you mind if I join you?” He asks me and I really do not like the idea. All the same he takes a step closer to me and I cannot get myself to speak up. He walks right up to me and slides his body down into the water with mine. The bath is big enough to where we both fit comfortably without touching but I am still surprised that he does not touch me. It is better slightly to have him in the water with me because now I can meet his eyes since we are both covered by the water.
Neither of us speaks nor moves for several moments, just relaxing in the warm water. I am glad that I did not drink enough to be sick as I have just a heavy headache that is bearable as long as I do not think too hard. “I apologize.” Mikhail says lightly and I look at him a bit amused at his apology.
“For what?” I ask trying still to put all of this off until my head feels better.
“You let me win and last night I took advantage of you and how much you drank.” Mikhail says now and I think again on how I hesitated during the race. I stay quiet now unsure how to respond when I did not mean for him to win I just was worried for him for a moment.
“I did not mean for you to win. I just saw you fording the river and it looked like you were having trouble. It made me hesitate and you moved before I did.” I tell him honestly even though it shows now that at least at the time I was not thinking about how I do not want him to leave. He says nothing right away and I wonder if maybe he had thought I lost on purpose because of some sort of feelings for him.
Then he just slowly nods as if confirming something to himself. “I thought it might be something like that. I just got a little carried away because I thought you wanted me to stay. Then you got so drunk that it was just too easy to kiss you and everything else.” He says his voice softly trailing off as he smiles seeming to remember much better than I do. I honestly do not know if I am happy that I cannot remember or not.
“I do not remember very much about last night.” I tell him a little amazed by my own comment but he just nods again. He does not offer to explain and I am still unsure if I want him to or not. One thing I do remember though is that I was not fighting him in the act at all.
“I do not want to push you. I understand that we agreed to try this for real and I did not help by last night. Let’s just take this a little slower okay.” He tells me and I just nod unsure what to say still. He smiles then looking at me almost lustfully. “Unless you do not want to slow down.” He mentions as if it means nothing to him but I know I have to give him a real answer this time.
“I am unsure what I want.” I answer slowly trying to be as honest as possible. “Maybe we should just see what happens.” I tell him seeing as that is what led to last night’s actions as well as the few kisses before that. “I do not mind kissing you though.” I say softly because in light of last night kissing him really does not seem as bad and though I may not remember everything I know that I liked it.
He smiles at me wider now and leans forward towards me. I try to relax at feeling his body so close when he moves the last few inches and places his lips on mine. The kiss is slow and lingering but just the thought that we are both naked and so close makes me want to make it deeper. I fight the impulse to kiss him harder and end up pulling away all together. “Well I guess that is a step forward at least.” He tells me with a grin before he relaxes back into his position away from me.
“I still want you to get dressed.” I say to him unsure of why entirely other than the fact that I do not want him to think I want anything more right now. My words just make Mikhail laugh though.
“I know.” He tells me lightly with a smile and then he grabs one of the bottles of cleaning liquid and pours a small amount of it in one hand. Then he moves closer to me and smiles. “Do you mind if I wash you?” He asks me sweetly and I know I have to be stupid but still I answer him.
“You can if you want.” I tell him my voice barely loud at all but he seems to hear me. He moves to sit right next to me now so that our legs are pressed against each other. He moves his hands then to my hair and starts to work the solution into it. Even though I am used to having Charles clean me this feels entirely different. Mikhail’s hands move over my head in a hard but soothing fashion that completely relaxes me. I truly stop thinking at that point and relax so much that I stop really paying attention.
His hands move past my hair down to my neck massaging it gently. Then his lips touch mine again and I relax into that as well moving my lips with his and then my tongue when he opens his lips against mine. His hands keep going further down to my back massaging the muscles there too. Somehow the kiss stays light but his hands working me over make me uncaring about anything other than those lips. His hands grip my hips and I relax spreading my legs wider and he crawls between them.
For a moment I clue in to what is happening when he places himself between my legs, but then he kisses me again and this time it is deeper. His tongue twines with mine as his hands work the muscles in my lower back and hips and I can’t find it in myself to do more then respond when he pushes his body closer and I feel how hard he is. I kiss back hard feeling my body respond easily as his hand moves to wrap around my thickening erection. My hips react automatically thrusting up into his grip as I moan into his mouth.
His unoccupied hand grabs one of mine and pulls it down his body to his hardened flesh. When my hand closes around the hot column of skin I manage to think of just what my hand is around and it pulls me out of my mindset all together. I look at him for a moment shocked that I would allow this and find myself mad at him for being able to push me into it so easily. “Mikhail, leave right now.” I tell him harshly and he just looks at me for a moment before getting out of the tub and doing as I say.
I just stay there for a few moments trying to catch my breath and still unsure if I want to think about what just happened or not. Obviously I was not exactly fighting him but I was caught unaware at the same time. I was just so relaxed and after how much I drank I was practically falling asleep in his hands. It was just too easy for him to move with me gently and fall into his hands. The thing is I do not know how to be angry with him because I liked it.
It is getting harder and harder for me to argue against having a physical relationship with Mikhail. Regardless of how he pushes me into it I still seem to want what offers. My body reacts instantly and maybe that is more why I get offended than him pushing it on me. It is one thing to admit that I might like him but to see my body react in such a way is a bit disorientating. In fact it is overwhelming to watch how I do not try to fight at all when he pushes. It was one thing when I was drunk last night but now when I am just hung over and not under any other substance it was too much to realize what was going on.
Maybe if Mikhail was able to take this slower like he keeps saying it would not be as hard to handle. Add to that the fact that I am still having trouble with the fact that we are both men. Really it was feeling his body and its reaction to me that snapped me out of all of it. I know I really need to talk to him and soon before he takes this any further.
I climb out of the bath and drain it before drying off and walking back to my rooms. I am glad to see them unoccupied of both Mikhail and Charles as I put on my clothes slowly. I take a deep breath and knock on the door that connects my chambers with Mikhail’s. It takes a few moments for him to answer me and when he does I see he must have finished cleaning in his own chambers since he is still wet and only half-dressed. Luckily for me though he is just without a shirt and I find that easier to deal with than him being completely naked again.
Mikhail does not say a word clearly waiting for me to speak. “This needs to stop.” I tell him hearing harshness in my voice that I know I do not mean. It is more along the lines that I am scared but I do not want to tell him that. Mikhail stays quiet though and then he just nods.
“I understand and I am sorry. I will leave if you still want me to.” He tells me slowly and I can tell that he means it regardless of our past conversations and regardless of him winning our competition.
“I do not want you to leave.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Then I find his eyes looking at me in awe almost like he cannot believe what I am saying. “Please, just say you will not leave.” I tell him softly and it seems completely sincere when he smiles again and leans towards me.
“I want to stay, I just cannot control myself around you and it seems to just make things worse.” He sighs and despite how close we are neither of us moves to close the small gap between our lips.
“Let’s start by you staying clothed around me.” I tell him even though the way my voice has gotten so airy and slightly lustful does not help my case. He just chuckles slightly.
“If you want me to, I will try. You have to do one thing for me though. Do not make such a tempting target of yourself and speak up before it gets to that point.” He tells me and all I can do is nod.