Chapter 3
I walk into Jesse’s room with him next to me and I still haven’t told him why Mr. Masûmakè kept me after class. Yet I act casually tossing my backpack down and slinging my body across his bed and he glares at me as I do. “Kevin, do you need to cover my bed?” Jess asks me pushing me slightly so that he can sit down as well. I smirk at him and move to pin him down instead.
“Is that better?” I ask grinning widely at him my face pressed right next to his.
“KEV!” He growls warningly not moving at all from under my bigger form. I kiss his cheek anyway before moving off of him and sitting on the edge of his bed. As soon as I move off of him though Jesse pins me down instead, his hands on my forearms and his legs straddling me. “Kevin stop it, one of these days I’m not going to just let you do these things.” He says all but glaring at me but because of the things going on lately as it is I just get angry right back at him.
“Well what are you going to do then huh Jess?” I ask him staring him down just as easily. He reaches down and grabs a chunk of my hair pulling it tightly until it hurts enough to make me squeeze my eyes shut. I grab his hair as well and then shove his head down pressing his lips to mine. His grip tightens on my hair as I move my lips against his but strangely enough his lips move easily with mine kissing me back. His hand grabs mine that is in his hair and he digs his nails in drawing my hand from him. He glares at me even meaner then gets off of me.
“Get out of my fucking house Kevin!” He yells at me then throws my bag at me letting it land heavily right on my crotch. I groan loudly before screaming at the pain. I get up and sling my backpack across my back.
“Fine Jess, but you know you liked it. When you can admit that then talk to me.” I tell him and walk right out of his house. Jess doesn’t even try to follow me and fuming I go straight home. Luckily I don’t have to see my mom as I walk in so I go to my room and lie on my bed too pissed to actually do anything.
Shit though I can’t believe that Jess actually kissed me back. I can’t believe that I kissed Jesse especially with all the problems I’m already having with Ito. Not that Ito and I are actually dating so I’m not cheating but god I don’t know what’s wrong with me I have enough trouble flirting with one boy I shouldn’t, I don’t need to add another one to it. But then my cell phone starts vibrating in my pocket shocking me out of my thoughts. I grab my phone, and at seeing a number I don’t recognize I answer a little more peeved. “Hello?”
“Kevin?” I hear Isaac’s voice and I smile slightly at the fact that it’s neither of the boys I’m having trouble with right now.
“Hey what’s up?” I answer able to calm my voice to the point that it almost sounds normal.
“Not much ‘cept something seems wrong with Jess a bit. He came over to my house not too long ago seemin’ pissed and all he is saying is he don’t want to talk ‘bout it. You know anything about that?” He asks not seeming like he really assumes I do or knows it just like an excuse to call me.
“No not really.” I answer lying because I know that Jesse won’t say it because it has to do with my being gay and he won’t tell anyone that. If I had pissed him off some other way then I might think he would tell them as revenge but because I kissed him I know he won’t say anything because if he does they might think he is too.
“Hey you still coming over this weekend for that party?” He asks me kind of cryptically not saying too much because the party is a surprise for Jess’s birthday and I’m guessing that Jess is still there. I try to think on it quickly making it seem like I already knew the answer while I don’t know if by then Jess will want to talk to me.
“Yeah as far as I know.” I tell Isaac because I don’t see any reason too much not to and I want to make up sort of with Jess. Most of me doesn’t see that I did anything wrong.
“Cool man see you k Jess is actin’ up again.” Without waiting for an answer Isaac hangs up on me. At that I get up slowly making my way around my room doing my homework for once and then I lie on my bed not knowing what I should do. Between being with, not dating, Ito and then having kissed Jess and having him actually respond to it makes it an even bigger deal. If he had done anything but reply to the kiss it would be better then this as if I wasn’t having enough boy problems as it is. And as if I haven’t already convinced myself several times to give up on Jess hell if this makes it any easier.
I hit my pillow a few times trying to let the rage out of my system but all the same I just end up falling asleep having weird dreams about both the boys and having to choose and I don’t know which one my dreams were leaning towards.
I wake up to my alarm clock ringing and cursing I hit it until it shuts up. I don’t really want to get up because I know I am going to see Jesse and I don’t know what to do about him. On one hand I really shouldn’t have kissed him but on the other hand he kissed me back. I don’t know whether I should apologize or demand that he talk to me and tell me if he likes me. And to top it all off I don’t even know if I should bother trying to see if Jess does like me because part of me feels like I owe Ito at least a little bit of loyalty. I don’t know what to do but I do have to go to school sadly. I get up and get dressed still sort of reassuring myself that Jess wouldn’t go and blab that I’m gay because I pissed him off.
I get ready quickly and drive to school even though it’s a bit early. I wait around until the bell away from the table my friends and I normally hang out at so I don’t see Jesse just yet. Then as I head off to Mr. Masûmakè’s class I know I can’t avoid him for long. Still as Jesse sits down next to me I can’t think of anything to say. So I sort of lose myself in class, well more like in starring at Ito but that’s close enough right?
I sit next to Jesse still nervous because we haven’t talked since I kissed him. I have to admit though that thinking over this as we sit in Mr. Masûmakè’s class is probably a bad idea. I can’t help it that my mind lingers on the both of them. The bell rings to end class and I still haven’t worked up the courage to talk to Jesse. Yet as soon as we are outside of the room Jess pulls me off to the side of the hall; his hand on my wrist. “Kevin, I’m sorry. I want to talk to you ok? Not at school though, at my house tonight?” I’m amazed by his words to me and I dumbly nod. “Good.” He tells me then surprises me even more as he kisses my cheek and runs off to his next class. I don’t let myself think on it as I too rush not to be late.
The day winds down with Jess having avoided me at lunch even though I went to our table. So as I head to Jesse’s I wonder what he is going to say even if it seems like he is going to say he likes me. His mom lets me in, I’m sure thinking nothing of it, and I slowly make my way to Jesse’s room. I let myself in and see Jesse sitting at his desk then he looks to me. “Jess, I’m sorry for kissing you okay.” I tell him right off and he frowns at me slightly. “I’ll understand if you’re mad at me.” He takes a few steps to stand in front of me, reaching around me and locking the door.
“No, I’m sorry Kev. It’s just you’ve been hitting on me for so long it almost seemed a joke. That I thought you were messing with me. So I didn’t know if you really did like me but I figured out a while ago that I would never get to find out. See I do like you but I have for so long that it just pisses me off more with each time you go out clubbing sleeping with guys at least five years older than you. The only thing I’m mad at you for is not making me talk to you and just leaving. I’m madder at myself for letting you. After convincing myself that you don’t like me I didn’t know how to react to kissing you.”
“Wait Jess slow down. I always thought you said it was wrong to be gay?” I say and he blushes a bit as I say it.
“Well that’s what I thought before I found out you’re gay. I mean I stopped and thought about it one day and I can’t think of anything wrong with it. But by then it just seemed like a ritual to respond that way to you hitting on me.”
“So what you actually like me?” I ask him and he just nods his head. “I never meant to mess with you, I always kind of wished you would return the compliment.” I tell him and he grins then takes another step forward so I am squeezed between his body and the door. Then he kisses me. I grin widely as he pulls away. “So do you know how to react now?” I ask my voice hinting at lustful yet sweet at the same time. Jess blushes and smiles a bit too widely at me.
“I think I’m getting it. How ‘bout one more time for practice?” He says his words lacking his normal edge. I grin anyway and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him softly. The kiss doesn’t stay soft though and he surprises me even more as his tongue enters my mouth deepening the kiss. My hands tighten in his hair and as our tongues move against each other faster now almost violent. He slams me up against the door and I break the kiss my eyes looking into his and catching all of the lust. “Kev…” He gasps my name his voice trailing off with the breath.
I grab his crotch roughly grinding the heel of my palm into it only to notice that he is already sporting a massive boner. “Damn.” I cuss under my breath rubbing him harder and he moans loudly. “Bed?” I ask not really thinking and not caring I just want this. Jess gasps still moaning off and on as he stops pinning me to the door and I lightly push him back till he hits the bed and I climb on top of him straddling him.
“Kev… wait.” He tells me and I give him a strange look not much able to restrain myself. “Tell me what you want.” He says the lust still evident especially in his only half-there voice. I grin though I know exactly what I want right now.
“I want to fuck you Jess.” I say bluntly and that makes him blush even more. I kiss him deeply and grind my hand into his crotch again so that he moans loudly. “Can I?” I say my eyes all but glued to his lust blown face. He moans again my hand doesn’t slow down as his head nods dumbly. I moan at the thought alone and my hands all but rip his shirt off attaching my mouth to his nipple and biting down lightly on it. He takes my shirt off of me and I undo his pants and push them down giving myself a full view of his boxers.
I move my legs between his pushing them apart with my knees and he easily allows it, spreading his legs for me. He hands me a tube of lube and a condom from his nightstand drawer and I don’t even pause to think about it I just take it from him. I smile at him and kiss him again striping off the rest of his clothing as we kiss and kicking off my own shoes and socks. I don’t bother taking off my pants and boxers yet because I want to make sure I don’t rush him. Yet I still can’t seem to really slow down as I grip his dick and start jerking him off and at the first touch of my hand on him he moans breathily.
I slick up my fingers and slide one into him automatically trying to hit his prostate especially as he winces slightly at the intrusion. I know right when I hit it though for two reasons: one he moans very loudly and two his body loosens noticeably. I slide another finger in and just keep hitting the same spot and as I do he pulls my lips to his kissing me deeply then his lips move to my neck sucking on it harshly. I slide in a third finger pumping them faster in and out of him and as I do it just prompts him to suck harder on my neck.
I wrap my fingers into his hair pulling his lips from my throat and kiss him deeply as I still thrust my fingers in and out of him deeply. “Jess you ok?” I ask and he smiles widely not replying at all as he blushes slightly as well. I kiss his lips quickly my fingers inside of him still not relenting. “You ready?” I ask him hoping he understands what I mean. He blushes deeper his whole face turning a bright red and yet he doesn’t stop gasping and moaning little squeaky squeals of pleasure. He nods. I grin wider and pull my fingers out of him completely.
He takes my pants and boxers off of me quickly and I know he definitely understood me. I rip the condom wrapper open with my teeth and quickly slide it on to myself adding more lube to the already slicked latex. I lie between his legs and position myself at his hole. I kiss him again deeply this time distracting him at the look of anxiousness and nerverousness on his face. As we kiss I slowly thrust into him working every inch in slowly and kindly and distracting him thoroughly through it. I pull on his dick again my hand moving on him and my lips finally separating from his as I am fully seated inside of him.
He moans softly and I just stay there at first kissing him lightly all over his face. Yet he starts to wiggle slightly after not too long and then he lets out a long breath that sounds longing. “Kevin please…” He says almost like he doesn’t know what he is asking for. Still I just smile and thrust into him not even bothering to be gentle. I thrust hard and quick yet Jess doesn’t seem to mind at all he moans and gasps loudly with each movement. His nails claw down my back and I groan at pain loving it all the same. His causing me pain makes me move even faster thrusting into him as deeply as I can. I pull on his dick in time with my own thrusts and he starts having really labored breathing. I some how manage to move faster and he squeals cumming all over both of our chests. His body tightens around me as he orgasms his nails digging into me even deeper and I can’t help but be pulled into it as well cumming inside of him.
I lie on top of him for a few seconds not bothering to move out of him just yet. Jesse tries to catch his breath and I look at him gazing into his eyes mesmerized but the loving look I see there. I pull out removing the condom and throwing it away then I lie back down next to Jess this time. Then it strikes me that I really don’t know what to say apparently he doesn’t either and for a few minutes we stay silent holding each other. Then I remember something. I hold him closer to me and whisper in his ear. “Jesse why do you have lube?” I ask not trying to be mean but the sentence comes out almost bluntly curious.
Of course he just blushes brighter and I don’t really hear his mumbled answer. I pull his face up and kiss his lips lightly. “What was that?” I ask him wanting him to talk louder. Instead he just curls into me even more and whispers lightly in my ear.
“Well I got kind of jealous at the thought of you sleeping around.” He answers softly which only slightly answers my question but enough for me to get the meaning. I grin though and just hold him tighter to me. “Kev…” He seems like he’s about to say something very meaning and I know I don’t want to hear it. Mainly because part of me is still thinking of Ito. I shush him and pull him closer snuggling with him.
Not much later we hear Jesse’s mom calling him for dinner. He looks at me longingly and I know what is coming. “Stay?” He asks and I sadly shake my head no. “K. Call me or just show up k.” I smile and kiss his cheek.
“Of course. See you tomorrow at school k.” I tell him and we quickly get dressed. I grab my backpack and sling it onto my shoulder. I kiss him again on the lips and I know the only reason he didn’t say anything like he wants to date me or he loves me because he knows me well enough to know I don’t want him to. Jesse’s mom says goodbye to me and I start to drive home slowly thinking about the two boys. Jokingly I change the number in my head to three for the split personalities of Ito Masûmakè. I let myself think about all the things I like about each boy some how without actually comparing them. When I get home I throw myself on my bed not thinking and yet not sleeping either for a good hour or so. After that it pops into my head that I should call Ito and try to see him on Friday since Saturday is Jesse’s party and Sunday I will most likely still be at Jesse’s or else I should do some things around the house and my homework.
Still as I hold the phone to my ear listening to it ring I am amazed to realize I don’t feel ashamed at all for sleeping with Jesse even though I slept with Ito first. Yet as Ito’s voice comes over the speaker I still feel a spark of joy at the sound of it. “Hello? Ito Masûmakè speaking.” He answers and I grin listening to his half serious voice.
“Hey Ito how are you?” I ask him my voice soft and happy, I know I still haven’t come down from my post orgasm high.
“Hey Kevin, I’m good. How are you?” He asks his voice much lighter now and it makes me smile even bigger.
“I’m great. Hey I was thinking though, I want to see you. I was thinking maybe I could come and stay the night Friday. What do you think?” I ask hoping that he will say yes and also that his son won’t be there as well.
“Sounds good to me. You just going to show up after school?” He asks me making it seem like he doesn’t really have a preference about it. I grin thinking it over to myself and missing him somewhat.
“Well I will probably go home first and get a few things but yeah pretty soon after that k?” I ask him already knowing he will say yes.
“K. Hey Kevin, sorry to get off the phone so soon but I have Mikhail with me. So I’ll see you later ok?” He tells me and I smile not bothering to ask if Mikhail will be there Friday.
“K. Bye Ito.”
“Bye Kevin.” I hear Ito tell me and then he hangs up and so do I. I lie back on my bed. I end up skipping dinner because I don’t want to have to cover up another hickey so Mom won’t get pissed and I’m not really hungry. Then I fall asleep still happy about having slept with Jesse and knowing after all this time that he really does like me.
It takes me until the next day at school to finally realize there might be a problem. I sit down in Mr. Masûmakè’s class waiting almost nervously for Jesse to come and sit next to me. I know the way Jess is and he is likely to be a lot more open about liking me and I don’t really get much chance to be public with my relationships and with Jesse and Ito in the same place I don’t really think now is the time to start.
Jess sits down next to me and as he does he smiles at me widely and leans over slightly towards me. Luckily I don’t have to stop him because the bell rings and he sits back in his seat. Through out the class Jesse keeps smiling at me widely and I try to pay attention to Ito who every once in awhile smiles kindly at me as well. I grab my backpack and Jesse grabs his, but then out of nowhere Jesse leans over again and he actually does manage to kiss me and right on the lips too. I don’t really think about it and I just go and kiss him back quickly but we still manage to stop before any one sees anything because everyone was too busy getting their things to notice yet at the same time I’m not sure if Ito saw anything.
All the same I am half glad that I don’t have any more classes with Jess until after lunch so I’ll be able to talk to him at lunch. When I start to walk out to the table we sit at for lunch though I know I need to pull Jess away before he does anything in front of anyone else. Luckily no one is at the table yet other then Jess so I quickly walk to him and grab his wrist pulling him away. “Hey Kev. Hey! What the hell?” He asks as I pull him away from the table.
“Jesse we need to talk. Just please don’t hit on me while we are at school ok? I still don’t really want people to know about me. I don’t want to date you Jess and I don’t want you to act like I am dating you either. I like you Jesse I do I just don’t want to be committed to anyone ok? So while we are at school we are just friends ok, nothing more.” I tell him not really bothering to be nice because I don’t want to be in a relationship right now and I don’t want to be exposed to the school either. The look on his face changes quick as he takes in what I said.
“Sorry Kevin I just got a little caught up that’s all. I know you don’t want people to know. This is just all really new to me and I do want to date you Kevin I know that you don’t like being tied down and that’s ok. I’d rather be able to be with you then have you not want me at all so if to have you means this ok. Sorry. Friends then?” He asks and I smile at him.
“Yeah.” I tell him but as soon as I do he pulls me into a hug and I push him away giving him a glare. He mouths the word ‘oh’ and slightly smiles at me apologetically. I spend the rest of the day at school mainly normal and I don’t go to Jesse’s house after school. Instead for once I go home and just pass out.
The next day at school just sort of passes as a blur. Jesse doesn’t seem to be as overly friendly and yet I’m still getting hints from him that he wants more. At lunch he tries to get me to say I will come over to his house after school and yet I just tell him that I have plans already and when I do his eyes light up. He asks me if it has to do with another man; I don’t deny it. I don’t answer him when he asks if it is Ito.
Still as I gather my things at home going ahead and packing things for a whole weekend so I can go from Ito’s to Jesse’s I start to think about it. I almost feel a little cheap thinking of going from one boy’s house to the other’s and hoping to sleep with both of them as well. I keep on thinking too, about all the nights I’ve spent at clubs going home with guys that I hardly even knew the name of and some times completely hammered. More then once high off E and quite a few times lured into cars for sex. Every once in a while having to bottom and then find my own way home, usually by calling Jesse who was always pissed in those situations.
All of that together makes me almost feel like a whore and thinking of the upcoming weekend doesn’t help. I pack my things madly and throw them in my car. I drive to Ito’s still a bit pissed and really wanting to get hammered.
“Is that better?” I ask grinning widely at him my face pressed right next to his.
“KEV!” He growls warningly not moving at all from under my bigger form. I kiss his cheek anyway before moving off of him and sitting on the edge of his bed. As soon as I move off of him though Jesse pins me down instead, his hands on my forearms and his legs straddling me. “Kevin stop it, one of these days I’m not going to just let you do these things.” He says all but glaring at me but because of the things going on lately as it is I just get angry right back at him.
“Well what are you going to do then huh Jess?” I ask him staring him down just as easily. He reaches down and grabs a chunk of my hair pulling it tightly until it hurts enough to make me squeeze my eyes shut. I grab his hair as well and then shove his head down pressing his lips to mine. His grip tightens on my hair as I move my lips against his but strangely enough his lips move easily with mine kissing me back. His hand grabs mine that is in his hair and he digs his nails in drawing my hand from him. He glares at me even meaner then gets off of me.
“Get out of my fucking house Kevin!” He yells at me then throws my bag at me letting it land heavily right on my crotch. I groan loudly before screaming at the pain. I get up and sling my backpack across my back.
“Fine Jess, but you know you liked it. When you can admit that then talk to me.” I tell him and walk right out of his house. Jess doesn’t even try to follow me and fuming I go straight home. Luckily I don’t have to see my mom as I walk in so I go to my room and lie on my bed too pissed to actually do anything.
Shit though I can’t believe that Jess actually kissed me back. I can’t believe that I kissed Jesse especially with all the problems I’m already having with Ito. Not that Ito and I are actually dating so I’m not cheating but god I don’t know what’s wrong with me I have enough trouble flirting with one boy I shouldn’t, I don’t need to add another one to it. But then my cell phone starts vibrating in my pocket shocking me out of my thoughts. I grab my phone, and at seeing a number I don’t recognize I answer a little more peeved. “Hello?”
“Kevin?” I hear Isaac’s voice and I smile slightly at the fact that it’s neither of the boys I’m having trouble with right now.
“Hey what’s up?” I answer able to calm my voice to the point that it almost sounds normal.
“Not much ‘cept something seems wrong with Jess a bit. He came over to my house not too long ago seemin’ pissed and all he is saying is he don’t want to talk ‘bout it. You know anything about that?” He asks not seeming like he really assumes I do or knows it just like an excuse to call me.
“No not really.” I answer lying because I know that Jesse won’t say it because it has to do with my being gay and he won’t tell anyone that. If I had pissed him off some other way then I might think he would tell them as revenge but because I kissed him I know he won’t say anything because if he does they might think he is too.
“Hey you still coming over this weekend for that party?” He asks me kind of cryptically not saying too much because the party is a surprise for Jess’s birthday and I’m guessing that Jess is still there. I try to think on it quickly making it seem like I already knew the answer while I don’t know if by then Jess will want to talk to me.
“Yeah as far as I know.” I tell Isaac because I don’t see any reason too much not to and I want to make up sort of with Jess. Most of me doesn’t see that I did anything wrong.
“Cool man see you k Jess is actin’ up again.” Without waiting for an answer Isaac hangs up on me. At that I get up slowly making my way around my room doing my homework for once and then I lie on my bed not knowing what I should do. Between being with, not dating, Ito and then having kissed Jess and having him actually respond to it makes it an even bigger deal. If he had done anything but reply to the kiss it would be better then this as if I wasn’t having enough boy problems as it is. And as if I haven’t already convinced myself several times to give up on Jess hell if this makes it any easier.
I hit my pillow a few times trying to let the rage out of my system but all the same I just end up falling asleep having weird dreams about both the boys and having to choose and I don’t know which one my dreams were leaning towards.
I wake up to my alarm clock ringing and cursing I hit it until it shuts up. I don’t really want to get up because I know I am going to see Jesse and I don’t know what to do about him. On one hand I really shouldn’t have kissed him but on the other hand he kissed me back. I don’t know whether I should apologize or demand that he talk to me and tell me if he likes me. And to top it all off I don’t even know if I should bother trying to see if Jess does like me because part of me feels like I owe Ito at least a little bit of loyalty. I don’t know what to do but I do have to go to school sadly. I get up and get dressed still sort of reassuring myself that Jess wouldn’t go and blab that I’m gay because I pissed him off.
I get ready quickly and drive to school even though it’s a bit early. I wait around until the bell away from the table my friends and I normally hang out at so I don’t see Jesse just yet. Then as I head off to Mr. Masûmakè’s class I know I can’t avoid him for long. Still as Jesse sits down next to me I can’t think of anything to say. So I sort of lose myself in class, well more like in starring at Ito but that’s close enough right?
I sit next to Jesse still nervous because we haven’t talked since I kissed him. I have to admit though that thinking over this as we sit in Mr. Masûmakè’s class is probably a bad idea. I can’t help it that my mind lingers on the both of them. The bell rings to end class and I still haven’t worked up the courage to talk to Jesse. Yet as soon as we are outside of the room Jess pulls me off to the side of the hall; his hand on my wrist. “Kevin, I’m sorry. I want to talk to you ok? Not at school though, at my house tonight?” I’m amazed by his words to me and I dumbly nod. “Good.” He tells me then surprises me even more as he kisses my cheek and runs off to his next class. I don’t let myself think on it as I too rush not to be late.
The day winds down with Jess having avoided me at lunch even though I went to our table. So as I head to Jesse’s I wonder what he is going to say even if it seems like he is going to say he likes me. His mom lets me in, I’m sure thinking nothing of it, and I slowly make my way to Jesse’s room. I let myself in and see Jesse sitting at his desk then he looks to me. “Jess, I’m sorry for kissing you okay.” I tell him right off and he frowns at me slightly. “I’ll understand if you’re mad at me.” He takes a few steps to stand in front of me, reaching around me and locking the door.
“No, I’m sorry Kev. It’s just you’ve been hitting on me for so long it almost seemed a joke. That I thought you were messing with me. So I didn’t know if you really did like me but I figured out a while ago that I would never get to find out. See I do like you but I have for so long that it just pisses me off more with each time you go out clubbing sleeping with guys at least five years older than you. The only thing I’m mad at you for is not making me talk to you and just leaving. I’m madder at myself for letting you. After convincing myself that you don’t like me I didn’t know how to react to kissing you.”
“Wait Jess slow down. I always thought you said it was wrong to be gay?” I say and he blushes a bit as I say it.
“Well that’s what I thought before I found out you’re gay. I mean I stopped and thought about it one day and I can’t think of anything wrong with it. But by then it just seemed like a ritual to respond that way to you hitting on me.”
“So what you actually like me?” I ask him and he just nods his head. “I never meant to mess with you, I always kind of wished you would return the compliment.” I tell him and he grins then takes another step forward so I am squeezed between his body and the door. Then he kisses me. I grin widely as he pulls away. “So do you know how to react now?” I ask my voice hinting at lustful yet sweet at the same time. Jess blushes and smiles a bit too widely at me.
“I think I’m getting it. How ‘bout one more time for practice?” He says his words lacking his normal edge. I grin anyway and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him softly. The kiss doesn’t stay soft though and he surprises me even more as his tongue enters my mouth deepening the kiss. My hands tighten in his hair and as our tongues move against each other faster now almost violent. He slams me up against the door and I break the kiss my eyes looking into his and catching all of the lust. “Kev…” He gasps my name his voice trailing off with the breath.
I grab his crotch roughly grinding the heel of my palm into it only to notice that he is already sporting a massive boner. “Damn.” I cuss under my breath rubbing him harder and he moans loudly. “Bed?” I ask not really thinking and not caring I just want this. Jess gasps still moaning off and on as he stops pinning me to the door and I lightly push him back till he hits the bed and I climb on top of him straddling him.
“Kev… wait.” He tells me and I give him a strange look not much able to restrain myself. “Tell me what you want.” He says the lust still evident especially in his only half-there voice. I grin though I know exactly what I want right now.
“I want to fuck you Jess.” I say bluntly and that makes him blush even more. I kiss him deeply and grind my hand into his crotch again so that he moans loudly. “Can I?” I say my eyes all but glued to his lust blown face. He moans again my hand doesn’t slow down as his head nods dumbly. I moan at the thought alone and my hands all but rip his shirt off attaching my mouth to his nipple and biting down lightly on it. He takes my shirt off of me and I undo his pants and push them down giving myself a full view of his boxers.
I move my legs between his pushing them apart with my knees and he easily allows it, spreading his legs for me. He hands me a tube of lube and a condom from his nightstand drawer and I don’t even pause to think about it I just take it from him. I smile at him and kiss him again striping off the rest of his clothing as we kiss and kicking off my own shoes and socks. I don’t bother taking off my pants and boxers yet because I want to make sure I don’t rush him. Yet I still can’t seem to really slow down as I grip his dick and start jerking him off and at the first touch of my hand on him he moans breathily.
I slick up my fingers and slide one into him automatically trying to hit his prostate especially as he winces slightly at the intrusion. I know right when I hit it though for two reasons: one he moans very loudly and two his body loosens noticeably. I slide another finger in and just keep hitting the same spot and as I do he pulls my lips to his kissing me deeply then his lips move to my neck sucking on it harshly. I slide in a third finger pumping them faster in and out of him and as I do it just prompts him to suck harder on my neck.
I wrap my fingers into his hair pulling his lips from my throat and kiss him deeply as I still thrust my fingers in and out of him deeply. “Jess you ok?” I ask and he smiles widely not replying at all as he blushes slightly as well. I kiss his lips quickly my fingers inside of him still not relenting. “You ready?” I ask him hoping he understands what I mean. He blushes deeper his whole face turning a bright red and yet he doesn’t stop gasping and moaning little squeaky squeals of pleasure. He nods. I grin wider and pull my fingers out of him completely.
He takes my pants and boxers off of me quickly and I know he definitely understood me. I rip the condom wrapper open with my teeth and quickly slide it on to myself adding more lube to the already slicked latex. I lie between his legs and position myself at his hole. I kiss him again deeply this time distracting him at the look of anxiousness and nerverousness on his face. As we kiss I slowly thrust into him working every inch in slowly and kindly and distracting him thoroughly through it. I pull on his dick again my hand moving on him and my lips finally separating from his as I am fully seated inside of him.
He moans softly and I just stay there at first kissing him lightly all over his face. Yet he starts to wiggle slightly after not too long and then he lets out a long breath that sounds longing. “Kevin please…” He says almost like he doesn’t know what he is asking for. Still I just smile and thrust into him not even bothering to be gentle. I thrust hard and quick yet Jess doesn’t seem to mind at all he moans and gasps loudly with each movement. His nails claw down my back and I groan at pain loving it all the same. His causing me pain makes me move even faster thrusting into him as deeply as I can. I pull on his dick in time with my own thrusts and he starts having really labored breathing. I some how manage to move faster and he squeals cumming all over both of our chests. His body tightens around me as he orgasms his nails digging into me even deeper and I can’t help but be pulled into it as well cumming inside of him.
I lie on top of him for a few seconds not bothering to move out of him just yet. Jesse tries to catch his breath and I look at him gazing into his eyes mesmerized but the loving look I see there. I pull out removing the condom and throwing it away then I lie back down next to Jess this time. Then it strikes me that I really don’t know what to say apparently he doesn’t either and for a few minutes we stay silent holding each other. Then I remember something. I hold him closer to me and whisper in his ear. “Jesse why do you have lube?” I ask not trying to be mean but the sentence comes out almost bluntly curious.
Of course he just blushes brighter and I don’t really hear his mumbled answer. I pull his face up and kiss his lips lightly. “What was that?” I ask him wanting him to talk louder. Instead he just curls into me even more and whispers lightly in my ear.
“Well I got kind of jealous at the thought of you sleeping around.” He answers softly which only slightly answers my question but enough for me to get the meaning. I grin though and just hold him tighter to me. “Kev…” He seems like he’s about to say something very meaning and I know I don’t want to hear it. Mainly because part of me is still thinking of Ito. I shush him and pull him closer snuggling with him.
Not much later we hear Jesse’s mom calling him for dinner. He looks at me longingly and I know what is coming. “Stay?” He asks and I sadly shake my head no. “K. Call me or just show up k.” I smile and kiss his cheek.
“Of course. See you tomorrow at school k.” I tell him and we quickly get dressed. I grab my backpack and sling it onto my shoulder. I kiss him again on the lips and I know the only reason he didn’t say anything like he wants to date me or he loves me because he knows me well enough to know I don’t want him to. Jesse’s mom says goodbye to me and I start to drive home slowly thinking about the two boys. Jokingly I change the number in my head to three for the split personalities of Ito Masûmakè. I let myself think about all the things I like about each boy some how without actually comparing them. When I get home I throw myself on my bed not thinking and yet not sleeping either for a good hour or so. After that it pops into my head that I should call Ito and try to see him on Friday since Saturday is Jesse’s party and Sunday I will most likely still be at Jesse’s or else I should do some things around the house and my homework.
Still as I hold the phone to my ear listening to it ring I am amazed to realize I don’t feel ashamed at all for sleeping with Jesse even though I slept with Ito first. Yet as Ito’s voice comes over the speaker I still feel a spark of joy at the sound of it. “Hello? Ito Masûmakè speaking.” He answers and I grin listening to his half serious voice.
“Hey Ito how are you?” I ask him my voice soft and happy, I know I still haven’t come down from my post orgasm high.
“Hey Kevin, I’m good. How are you?” He asks his voice much lighter now and it makes me smile even bigger.
“I’m great. Hey I was thinking though, I want to see you. I was thinking maybe I could come and stay the night Friday. What do you think?” I ask hoping that he will say yes and also that his son won’t be there as well.
“Sounds good to me. You just going to show up after school?” He asks me making it seem like he doesn’t really have a preference about it. I grin thinking it over to myself and missing him somewhat.
“Well I will probably go home first and get a few things but yeah pretty soon after that k?” I ask him already knowing he will say yes.
“K. Hey Kevin, sorry to get off the phone so soon but I have Mikhail with me. So I’ll see you later ok?” He tells me and I smile not bothering to ask if Mikhail will be there Friday.
“K. Bye Ito.”
“Bye Kevin.” I hear Ito tell me and then he hangs up and so do I. I lie back on my bed. I end up skipping dinner because I don’t want to have to cover up another hickey so Mom won’t get pissed and I’m not really hungry. Then I fall asleep still happy about having slept with Jesse and knowing after all this time that he really does like me.
It takes me until the next day at school to finally realize there might be a problem. I sit down in Mr. Masûmakè’s class waiting almost nervously for Jesse to come and sit next to me. I know the way Jess is and he is likely to be a lot more open about liking me and I don’t really get much chance to be public with my relationships and with Jesse and Ito in the same place I don’t really think now is the time to start.
Jess sits down next to me and as he does he smiles at me widely and leans over slightly towards me. Luckily I don’t have to stop him because the bell rings and he sits back in his seat. Through out the class Jesse keeps smiling at me widely and I try to pay attention to Ito who every once in awhile smiles kindly at me as well. I grab my backpack and Jesse grabs his, but then out of nowhere Jesse leans over again and he actually does manage to kiss me and right on the lips too. I don’t really think about it and I just go and kiss him back quickly but we still manage to stop before any one sees anything because everyone was too busy getting their things to notice yet at the same time I’m not sure if Ito saw anything.
All the same I am half glad that I don’t have any more classes with Jess until after lunch so I’ll be able to talk to him at lunch. When I start to walk out to the table we sit at for lunch though I know I need to pull Jess away before he does anything in front of anyone else. Luckily no one is at the table yet other then Jess so I quickly walk to him and grab his wrist pulling him away. “Hey Kev. Hey! What the hell?” He asks as I pull him away from the table.
“Jesse we need to talk. Just please don’t hit on me while we are at school ok? I still don’t really want people to know about me. I don’t want to date you Jess and I don’t want you to act like I am dating you either. I like you Jesse I do I just don’t want to be committed to anyone ok? So while we are at school we are just friends ok, nothing more.” I tell him not really bothering to be nice because I don’t want to be in a relationship right now and I don’t want to be exposed to the school either. The look on his face changes quick as he takes in what I said.
“Sorry Kevin I just got a little caught up that’s all. I know you don’t want people to know. This is just all really new to me and I do want to date you Kevin I know that you don’t like being tied down and that’s ok. I’d rather be able to be with you then have you not want me at all so if to have you means this ok. Sorry. Friends then?” He asks and I smile at him.
“Yeah.” I tell him but as soon as I do he pulls me into a hug and I push him away giving him a glare. He mouths the word ‘oh’ and slightly smiles at me apologetically. I spend the rest of the day at school mainly normal and I don’t go to Jesse’s house after school. Instead for once I go home and just pass out.
The next day at school just sort of passes as a blur. Jesse doesn’t seem to be as overly friendly and yet I’m still getting hints from him that he wants more. At lunch he tries to get me to say I will come over to his house after school and yet I just tell him that I have plans already and when I do his eyes light up. He asks me if it has to do with another man; I don’t deny it. I don’t answer him when he asks if it is Ito.
Still as I gather my things at home going ahead and packing things for a whole weekend so I can go from Ito’s to Jesse’s I start to think about it. I almost feel a little cheap thinking of going from one boy’s house to the other’s and hoping to sleep with both of them as well. I keep on thinking too, about all the nights I’ve spent at clubs going home with guys that I hardly even knew the name of and some times completely hammered. More then once high off E and quite a few times lured into cars for sex. Every once in a while having to bottom and then find my own way home, usually by calling Jesse who was always pissed in those situations.
All of that together makes me almost feel like a whore and thinking of the upcoming weekend doesn’t help. I pack my things madly and throw them in my car. I drive to Ito’s still a bit pissed and really wanting to get hammered.