Chapter 8
True to his word very shortly after Charles leaves another servant appears. A young boy that cannot even be thirteen knocks on my door and I have to wonder if he has even finished training or if Charles just grabbed the first available servant. He bows to me and seems to be shaking slightly. “What’s your name?” I ask him even though I am unsure if he is really going to be okay to be my servant for even today.
“Tobias, Your Highness.” He says softly though his voice is very clear. I do not bother telling him to call me by my name since I am sure he will be too nervous to actually call me by my name. I nod to him and try to think of what I am supposed to do today since Charles left so quickly and I doubt he told Tobias anything other then to report to my room.
I decide to go to the training grounds and work on my archery to work out my feelings about Charles and Mikhail right now. No one disturbs me for the rest of the day including Charles and Mikhail. In fact I only see Tobias until the end of the day when he leaves my rooms and I am getting ready to go to bed. Before I am able to get to sleep though I hear a door open and Mikhail quickly appears inside my chambers. “It is true right?” He asks me seeming excited though I am unsure what he is talking about.
“What do you mean?” I ask him but he just keeps smiling and moving closer to both my bed and me.
“You told Charles to leave right? I heard the servants talking and then I saw that other boy as your servant for the day. You actually told him to leave?” Mikhail says and I understand now why he is happy because he thinks that I sent Charles away for his crush rather then Charles wanting to leave because of his feelings.
“I asked Charles if he had feelings for me.” I agree with him to begin yet before I get to finish my sentence Mikhail kisses me deeply wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me tightly to him. I try not to react but it is rather impossible for me not to like it when he is kissing me so deep. “Mikhail.” I say his name trying to get him to stop kissing me yet I am not really sure I want him to stop. “I did not ask Charles to leave.” I get out and Mikhail stops kissing me to look at me instead.
“What happened then?” He asks me now even though he keeps his arms around me.
“Charles admitted that he likes me and then he insisted that he should leave. I tried to stop him but he said that it was inappropriate for him to stay.” I tell him finding that I actually am a little angry at Mikhail for bringing all of this up in the first place.
“Gael, I am sorry.” He says now pulling away from but I grab him and pull him to me instead.
“I do not want you to leave as well.” I tell him quickly but Mikhail just looks at me now waiting for me to continue. “I do not have feelings for Charles in that way but I would just like for him to stay as my servant.” I tell him and Mikhail pulls away from me more forcefully now.
“Gael, I am sorry that you have become such close friends with him but he should not be here if he feels that way for you. You are supposed to marry me in a mere moon from now. So I apologize that he is leaving but it is a good thing.” Mikhail tells me while looking at me sternly.
“I am going to marry you; this has nothing to do with that. Charles is just a friend.” I insist and then Mikhail moves toward me again.
“This is for the best. If he is around you will be constantly thinking about his feelings for you. Neither of you will be able to think straight, and I will not be around to watch you fall in love with him. So if he stays I leave.” Mikhail tells me and I wonder how it got here.
“Mikhail, please do not make this any harder. I want to marry you I swear.” I tell him but I know he does not believe me. I grab Mikhail’s arm and pull him closer again before pressing my lips to his. Mikhail kisses me briefly but then he pulls away again.
“I cannot do this.” He tells me harder this time and I kiss him again. Mikhail lets me kiss him longer this time and when he tries to pull away I grab his ass trying to keep him there.
“Stay, please I want to marry you.” I tell him hearing how deep my voice has gotten.
“Gael, stop it.” He tells me trying to pull away from my grip this time pulling even harder. I keep my grip on him and kiss him again trying to show him that I want this in the only way I can think of. I slide my hand into his trousers and grab his butt sliding my finger slowly through the crack there.
“I want to do this Mikhail and it is not going to change if he is here.” I tell him as I slide my finger further down to grace the small opening. Mikhail moans softly and I slowly circle that opening with my finger. “Let me show you that I want this.” I tell him before kissing his lips again.
We kiss for a bit longer this time and I softly tease Mikhail’s hole by inserting my finger slightly and pulling it back out. When he pulls away from my lips the first thing that comes out of his is a moan and I know he is not going to push me away this time. “Come in to my room.” He tells me even as he grips my arm pulling me toward it. I nod to him knowing he must have a reason for this to happen there and I do not care as long as he stops trying to push me away.
Mikhail quickly starts pulling off my clothing once we are in his room and I cannot help but do the same with his. I start to Mikhail toward his bed yet he pulls away again and for a moment I fear that he will stop me. Mikhail pulls something out of a drawer by his bed and for a moment I wonder why as I look at the small jar in his hand. “It is lubricant.” He explains opening the jar and grabbing my wrist to make me touch the lotion-like substance. My fingers glide through it and I think I understand now why he grabbed it just like when he grabbed the oil in the bath. I nod to him and take the small jar from his hands. Mikhail lies down on his bed back up so I see his butt already presented to me.
I shake slightly as I coat my fingers in the grease then set the jar on his bedside table. My dry hand pulls apart his cheeks until I see the small opening then I slide a moist finger into him. Mikhail moans and I marvel at how easily my finger slides into his tight body. I quickly thrust my finger in and out of him without even bothering to find that spot he found on me. He seems to like it all the same and does not complain when I add another finger into his tightness. I keep thrusting my fingers into Mikhail and I cannot wait to be more inside of him. I want to feel his body wrapped around mine so tight like it is around my fingers.
I dip my other hand into the lubricant and continue to thrust my fingers into Mikhail as I grease up my dick. I slide one more finger into his body feeling it open up for me as he continues to moan. Mikhail pulls his legs up to put his bottom higher in the air and then I hear him speak. “Gael, please just do it already.” He moans and I pull my fingers completely out of him. I take a second to line my hips up with his before thrusting into him. The moment I am inside of him I moan loudly at the intense pressure. Mikhail moans as well but then his body seems to relax and open up around me making me moan again as my hips thrust forward on their own. Then my hips are pressed up against his and I breathe heavily for a moment feeling myself fully inside of him before Mikhail moans and his body tightens for a second before loosening again.
“Mikhail, you’re so tight-” I start to say but he moans and cuts me off.
“Gael, shut up and move.” Mikhail hisses at me and I smile at his impatience. All the same I do as he asks and pull out slightly before thrusting into him again. Mikhail moans again and this time when I thrust into him he rocks his hips back pushing me deeper into him and making him moan loudly. I place my hands on Mikhail’s hips helping to pull him back with each thrust. My breathing gets heavy and feeling him around me makes me thrust faster and harder. Mikhail keeps moaning then his body tightens around me so much that I moan as well while my body releases into his. I shake from the intensity of my orgasm and I cannot tell my own voice from Mikhail’s moans.
Then for a few moments we both breathe heavily and it really sets in what happened just now. I pull out of Mikhail then lie on the bed next to him panting heavily as I watch Mikhail turn onto his back. He smiles at me lazily and all I can think about is what just happened between us. Mikhail moves closer to me then presses his lips to mine kissing me slowly but deeply. I find I have no idea what to say and it seems that Mikhail feels that way as well with how he just smiles at me. He moves to place his leg over mine as he cuddles into me and I kiss his cheek.
“So maybe we could do this again soon?” Mikhail says softly with a smirk on his face and I smile back glad that he seems to have liked what just happened.
“If you want to.” I tell him with a grin and Mikhail chuckles at me.
“Of course I want to, as long as you do not want me to leave.” He tells me seeming a bit more serious now and I remember what we were arguing about.
“I do not want you to leave, I want to marry you. I was hoping that you would see that after what just happened.” I say slowly even though neither of us moves from how we are held together. Mikhail chuckles again though and I wonder why he is acting like this.
“Gael, sleeping with me is not really a show of love.” Mikhail tells me and I feel my voice catch at what he said.
“I…” I do not know what to say to him at all.
“You do not love me, and it is ok. I can not really say I love you either. That is why I do not want Charles here, I am afraid that your feeling of friendship toward him could lead you into more.” Mikhail says softly and I can tell that he means it.
“I understand,” I start to say yet I still do not want Charles to leave. “It does not change anything though.”
“Gael, Charles wants to leave. Even without involving me he does not want to stay. How do you think you can convince him to stay unless you do something to make him think he might have a chance with you?” He asks me and I know that he has a point.
“I do not want to be with Charles. Not as a lover, or anything else. Please just do not leave.” I tell him now as I realize that just as when we had the tournament the thing that scares me most is for Mikhail to leave. He seems to think about it for a moment before he answers me.
“I will not leave, but I do not want to do this again until you think you are able to love me even if that means we put off the wedding.” He tells me and now I have to pull away from him and look at him.
“What do you mean?” I ask him slowly.
“I do not want to marry you unless you are able to love me.” Mikhail tells me as he now sits up himself to face me.
“And what about you? If you want me to love you then should not you have to do the same? Clearly you do not trust me enough for me to be around Charles so for now I will offer to have him transferred to another job in the castle that is not so close to me. If that is okay with you.” I tell him back my tone matching his in seriousness. Mikhail sighs and then he slowly nods his head to me. “It is decided then after tonight we will not lie together until you can trust me and I can love you.” I tell him but then I just start to get up out of his bed yet Mikhail stops me grabbing me and pulling me down to him.
“Wait, stay with me tonight.” He tells me softly and it is almost like we did not talk at all and these are his first words since we were together.
“What about everything we just said?” I ask him especially in light of the fact that we are both still naked from prior events. He smiles softly at me though and I know already that I will stay.
“Yes, but after tonight. I just want to spend one more night with you.” He tells me and again it seems to be one of the rare moments when his smile is genuine rather than the smirk he usually has.
“What if I decide that I would like to be with you again tonight?” I ask him wanting to be sure on just what he is offering. Mikhail smiles wider though and I think I almost see a bit of lust in it.
“Then maybe we will.” He tells me as he keeps that grin on his face. I smile back at him unsure now why I asked him when I added to his condition as well. “So please just stay with me tonight.” He says softly and I nod to him then settle back down into his bed. Mikhail wraps his arms around me again and pulls me to him. I want to kiss him but somehow it does not seem right now after all that we have said. Mikhail seems not to have that issue though as he presses his lips very lightly to mine. I do not try to make the kiss any deeper and he pulls away shortly. “Thank you for staying.”
“Is it really so hard for you to just say what you want without having to act so smart about it?” I ask him lightly and Mikhail chuckles again.
“Is that really what you think about me?” He asks me now and his voice does not have that sarcastic ring to it so I suppose he must really want an answer.
“Yes, the way you talk and how you constantly smirk at me like you constantly know something I do not; it must just be a show. Then there are times when you want something so much or you are so scared that you forget to act. Like during the thunderstorm.” I tell him softly and he does not laugh this time.
“You are right about some of that. Sometimes I do it on instinct since it seems that I really do know things that other people do not and it is funny to me that it seems so simple. I will try not to do it around you though if you want.” He tells me seriously and I think about it slightly before answering him.
“Well maybe you could just try not to be that way when we are in bed together.” I tell him softly and Mikhail smiles at me then kisses me. I kiss his lips back deepening the kiss this time but keeping my hands around his waist.
“Ok, if that is what you want.” He tells me and maybe we are not as far from really caring for each other as it seems.
“It is good for us to talk like this; maybe we have been pushing things too much rather than getting to know each other.” I say to him and Mikhail continues to smile at me. “So maybe we should try to talk some more.” I tell him before holding him a little closer.
“Okay, so what should we talk about then?” He kisses my lips before I get a chance to answer and I softly kiss him back. Mikhail starts to kiss me deeper and I moan into the kiss as his hand slides down my body but I make myself pull away.
“How about this? I do not think lying here naked with you is the best way for us to talk.” He does laugh at that and I smile at hearing his laugh.
“Fine.” He tells me still laughing, “So should we put on our clothes or do something else?” He asks shrugging his eyebrows slightly and I am unsure if he is joking despite how recently it was that we did what he is suggesting. I run my fingers through his hair trying to relax and not take him so seriously.
“Please be serious.”
“I was.” He says back just as quick and I just stay looking at him. “I am willing to if you want to.” He tells me now and it has still been too recent for me to want to right away despite how I think about it.
“Not right now, perhaps later.” I tell him and he just smiles and nods to me.
“Okay, then we should put on some clothes.” He says and I wonder if he is disappointed by my choice. He gets out of the bed without waiting for me to respond and when he stands up I see that he really was not joking from how he is erect again. All the same he grabs the underpants he was wearing and slips them on before tossing mine at me. I slip them on quickly not wanting Mikhail to see that my body is not as interested as his even though I am unsure why it bothers me. Mikhail moves back to where I lie on his bed and he lies down with me again. “So then what should we talk about?”
“Are you close to your sister?” I ask him though I am unsure why that is the first question that I can come up with. He smiles all the same though.
“Zahara and I used to be close. She has been a bit more distant from me since my father got ill. She is expected to take over and the thing is that it is going to be sooner rather than later. Her wedding was arranged once we knew that our father was sick and it has been hard on her since. So we haven’t seen much of each other, I was actually surprised that she was willing to have us raise her child when I learned of our possible engagement.” He tells me and it amazes me a little how much he volunteers with so few words. Still I understand what he means about her being groomed for the throne. It does leave much time for other things. “What about you, you have a little sister right?”
“Yes, Aradia is only seven summers old though and she is very sick. I have never really seen her. She spends most of her time with my mother and her nurses. That is why not many people know about her at all.” I say realizing that by asking him I just opened myself up for this. “I feel I do not have much in common with her even if she was not sick.” I tell him honestly and he just nods slightly.
“I am sorry; maybe you should try to get to know her.” He offers but I do not bother to respond and he does not seem to notice. We talk for a while longer about pointless things like weapons, fighting, and horse riding. It goes well for a while until he brings up a more serious subject. “Do you want to marry me?” I stop cold for a moment and just look at him. “I mean aside from liking to do things with me in bed what do you like about me?” I sigh trying to think of something to say.
“You are very kind, even with how sarcastic you are.” I tell him, and he just smiles waiting for me to continue. “You are also a good fighter, you use your brain to fight in ways that are not expected and you are good at that. I like that you can handle yourself in a fight and that you were not afraid when we were ambushed by those bandits. It amazes me how smart you are even with handling the affairs of the common people when I left. You came up with answers that I never would have and the people seem to like you for it. I think that you will make a very good co ruler with me and a very good husband.” I tell him softly and at the end of my words I find Mikhail pressing his lips up to mine. I kiss him back relaxing into his touch again.
“Thank you for being so honest.” He says and I smile at him.
“What do you like about me?” I ask him back wanting to hear what he thinks about me as well. He smiles at me and lightly kisses my lips again for a moment.
“Well, I like your smile when you really just let go.” Another soft kiss that does not last. “I like how you are polite and always trying to do the right thing despite how you really feel. You are so nice that you lose yourself in that instead of what needs to be done. Like how you let me handle the accounts even when I never asked. I just wish you would tell me how you feel more often rather than you being so diplomatic.” He tells me and I know what he means now too. “I like seeing you when you are not trying so hard as well. I do want to apologize for pushing you into sleeping with me, I do not think that we were ready.” He tells me now and I lean closer to kiss him. He lets me kiss him for a few moments but then he pushes me away.
“I am not sorry that it happened. We could have waited until we knew each other better, but I am glad that it happened. I really liked what happened. I cannot wait to do it again because I am sure that it will be even better.” I tell him watching as he smiles at what I say.
“I really enjoyed it too.”
“Tobias, Your Highness.” He says softly though his voice is very clear. I do not bother telling him to call me by my name since I am sure he will be too nervous to actually call me by my name. I nod to him and try to think of what I am supposed to do today since Charles left so quickly and I doubt he told Tobias anything other then to report to my room.
I decide to go to the training grounds and work on my archery to work out my feelings about Charles and Mikhail right now. No one disturbs me for the rest of the day including Charles and Mikhail. In fact I only see Tobias until the end of the day when he leaves my rooms and I am getting ready to go to bed. Before I am able to get to sleep though I hear a door open and Mikhail quickly appears inside my chambers. “It is true right?” He asks me seeming excited though I am unsure what he is talking about.
“What do you mean?” I ask him but he just keeps smiling and moving closer to both my bed and me.
“You told Charles to leave right? I heard the servants talking and then I saw that other boy as your servant for the day. You actually told him to leave?” Mikhail says and I understand now why he is happy because he thinks that I sent Charles away for his crush rather then Charles wanting to leave because of his feelings.
“I asked Charles if he had feelings for me.” I agree with him to begin yet before I get to finish my sentence Mikhail kisses me deeply wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me tightly to him. I try not to react but it is rather impossible for me not to like it when he is kissing me so deep. “Mikhail.” I say his name trying to get him to stop kissing me yet I am not really sure I want him to stop. “I did not ask Charles to leave.” I get out and Mikhail stops kissing me to look at me instead.
“What happened then?” He asks me now even though he keeps his arms around me.
“Charles admitted that he likes me and then he insisted that he should leave. I tried to stop him but he said that it was inappropriate for him to stay.” I tell him finding that I actually am a little angry at Mikhail for bringing all of this up in the first place.
“Gael, I am sorry.” He says now pulling away from but I grab him and pull him to me instead.
“I do not want you to leave as well.” I tell him quickly but Mikhail just looks at me now waiting for me to continue. “I do not have feelings for Charles in that way but I would just like for him to stay as my servant.” I tell him and Mikhail pulls away from me more forcefully now.
“Gael, I am sorry that you have become such close friends with him but he should not be here if he feels that way for you. You are supposed to marry me in a mere moon from now. So I apologize that he is leaving but it is a good thing.” Mikhail tells me while looking at me sternly.
“I am going to marry you; this has nothing to do with that. Charles is just a friend.” I insist and then Mikhail moves toward me again.
“This is for the best. If he is around you will be constantly thinking about his feelings for you. Neither of you will be able to think straight, and I will not be around to watch you fall in love with him. So if he stays I leave.” Mikhail tells me and I wonder how it got here.
“Mikhail, please do not make this any harder. I want to marry you I swear.” I tell him but I know he does not believe me. I grab Mikhail’s arm and pull him closer again before pressing my lips to his. Mikhail kisses me briefly but then he pulls away again.
“I cannot do this.” He tells me harder this time and I kiss him again. Mikhail lets me kiss him longer this time and when he tries to pull away I grab his ass trying to keep him there.
“Stay, please I want to marry you.” I tell him hearing how deep my voice has gotten.
“Gael, stop it.” He tells me trying to pull away from my grip this time pulling even harder. I keep my grip on him and kiss him again trying to show him that I want this in the only way I can think of. I slide my hand into his trousers and grab his butt sliding my finger slowly through the crack there.
“I want to do this Mikhail and it is not going to change if he is here.” I tell him as I slide my finger further down to grace the small opening. Mikhail moans softly and I slowly circle that opening with my finger. “Let me show you that I want this.” I tell him before kissing his lips again.
We kiss for a bit longer this time and I softly tease Mikhail’s hole by inserting my finger slightly and pulling it back out. When he pulls away from my lips the first thing that comes out of his is a moan and I know he is not going to push me away this time. “Come in to my room.” He tells me even as he grips my arm pulling me toward it. I nod to him knowing he must have a reason for this to happen there and I do not care as long as he stops trying to push me away.
Mikhail quickly starts pulling off my clothing once we are in his room and I cannot help but do the same with his. I start to Mikhail toward his bed yet he pulls away again and for a moment I fear that he will stop me. Mikhail pulls something out of a drawer by his bed and for a moment I wonder why as I look at the small jar in his hand. “It is lubricant.” He explains opening the jar and grabbing my wrist to make me touch the lotion-like substance. My fingers glide through it and I think I understand now why he grabbed it just like when he grabbed the oil in the bath. I nod to him and take the small jar from his hands. Mikhail lies down on his bed back up so I see his butt already presented to me.
I shake slightly as I coat my fingers in the grease then set the jar on his bedside table. My dry hand pulls apart his cheeks until I see the small opening then I slide a moist finger into him. Mikhail moans and I marvel at how easily my finger slides into his tight body. I quickly thrust my finger in and out of him without even bothering to find that spot he found on me. He seems to like it all the same and does not complain when I add another finger into his tightness. I keep thrusting my fingers into Mikhail and I cannot wait to be more inside of him. I want to feel his body wrapped around mine so tight like it is around my fingers.
I dip my other hand into the lubricant and continue to thrust my fingers into Mikhail as I grease up my dick. I slide one more finger into his body feeling it open up for me as he continues to moan. Mikhail pulls his legs up to put his bottom higher in the air and then I hear him speak. “Gael, please just do it already.” He moans and I pull my fingers completely out of him. I take a second to line my hips up with his before thrusting into him. The moment I am inside of him I moan loudly at the intense pressure. Mikhail moans as well but then his body seems to relax and open up around me making me moan again as my hips thrust forward on their own. Then my hips are pressed up against his and I breathe heavily for a moment feeling myself fully inside of him before Mikhail moans and his body tightens for a second before loosening again.
“Mikhail, you’re so tight-” I start to say but he moans and cuts me off.
“Gael, shut up and move.” Mikhail hisses at me and I smile at his impatience. All the same I do as he asks and pull out slightly before thrusting into him again. Mikhail moans again and this time when I thrust into him he rocks his hips back pushing me deeper into him and making him moan loudly. I place my hands on Mikhail’s hips helping to pull him back with each thrust. My breathing gets heavy and feeling him around me makes me thrust faster and harder. Mikhail keeps moaning then his body tightens around me so much that I moan as well while my body releases into his. I shake from the intensity of my orgasm and I cannot tell my own voice from Mikhail’s moans.
Then for a few moments we both breathe heavily and it really sets in what happened just now. I pull out of Mikhail then lie on the bed next to him panting heavily as I watch Mikhail turn onto his back. He smiles at me lazily and all I can think about is what just happened between us. Mikhail moves closer to me then presses his lips to mine kissing me slowly but deeply. I find I have no idea what to say and it seems that Mikhail feels that way as well with how he just smiles at me. He moves to place his leg over mine as he cuddles into me and I kiss his cheek.
“So maybe we could do this again soon?” Mikhail says softly with a smirk on his face and I smile back glad that he seems to have liked what just happened.
“If you want to.” I tell him with a grin and Mikhail chuckles at me.
“Of course I want to, as long as you do not want me to leave.” He tells me seeming a bit more serious now and I remember what we were arguing about.
“I do not want you to leave, I want to marry you. I was hoping that you would see that after what just happened.” I say slowly even though neither of us moves from how we are held together. Mikhail chuckles again though and I wonder why he is acting like this.
“Gael, sleeping with me is not really a show of love.” Mikhail tells me and I feel my voice catch at what he said.
“I…” I do not know what to say to him at all.
“You do not love me, and it is ok. I can not really say I love you either. That is why I do not want Charles here, I am afraid that your feeling of friendship toward him could lead you into more.” Mikhail says softly and I can tell that he means it.
“I understand,” I start to say yet I still do not want Charles to leave. “It does not change anything though.”
“Gael, Charles wants to leave. Even without involving me he does not want to stay. How do you think you can convince him to stay unless you do something to make him think he might have a chance with you?” He asks me and I know that he has a point.
“I do not want to be with Charles. Not as a lover, or anything else. Please just do not leave.” I tell him now as I realize that just as when we had the tournament the thing that scares me most is for Mikhail to leave. He seems to think about it for a moment before he answers me.
“I will not leave, but I do not want to do this again until you think you are able to love me even if that means we put off the wedding.” He tells me and now I have to pull away from him and look at him.
“What do you mean?” I ask him slowly.
“I do not want to marry you unless you are able to love me.” Mikhail tells me as he now sits up himself to face me.
“And what about you? If you want me to love you then should not you have to do the same? Clearly you do not trust me enough for me to be around Charles so for now I will offer to have him transferred to another job in the castle that is not so close to me. If that is okay with you.” I tell him back my tone matching his in seriousness. Mikhail sighs and then he slowly nods his head to me. “It is decided then after tonight we will not lie together until you can trust me and I can love you.” I tell him but then I just start to get up out of his bed yet Mikhail stops me grabbing me and pulling me down to him.
“Wait, stay with me tonight.” He tells me softly and it is almost like we did not talk at all and these are his first words since we were together.
“What about everything we just said?” I ask him especially in light of the fact that we are both still naked from prior events. He smiles softly at me though and I know already that I will stay.
“Yes, but after tonight. I just want to spend one more night with you.” He tells me and again it seems to be one of the rare moments when his smile is genuine rather than the smirk he usually has.
“What if I decide that I would like to be with you again tonight?” I ask him wanting to be sure on just what he is offering. Mikhail smiles wider though and I think I almost see a bit of lust in it.
“Then maybe we will.” He tells me as he keeps that grin on his face. I smile back at him unsure now why I asked him when I added to his condition as well. “So please just stay with me tonight.” He says softly and I nod to him then settle back down into his bed. Mikhail wraps his arms around me again and pulls me to him. I want to kiss him but somehow it does not seem right now after all that we have said. Mikhail seems not to have that issue though as he presses his lips very lightly to mine. I do not try to make the kiss any deeper and he pulls away shortly. “Thank you for staying.”
“Is it really so hard for you to just say what you want without having to act so smart about it?” I ask him lightly and Mikhail chuckles again.
“Is that really what you think about me?” He asks me now and his voice does not have that sarcastic ring to it so I suppose he must really want an answer.
“Yes, the way you talk and how you constantly smirk at me like you constantly know something I do not; it must just be a show. Then there are times when you want something so much or you are so scared that you forget to act. Like during the thunderstorm.” I tell him softly and he does not laugh this time.
“You are right about some of that. Sometimes I do it on instinct since it seems that I really do know things that other people do not and it is funny to me that it seems so simple. I will try not to do it around you though if you want.” He tells me seriously and I think about it slightly before answering him.
“Well maybe you could just try not to be that way when we are in bed together.” I tell him softly and Mikhail smiles at me then kisses me. I kiss his lips back deepening the kiss this time but keeping my hands around his waist.
“Ok, if that is what you want.” He tells me and maybe we are not as far from really caring for each other as it seems.
“It is good for us to talk like this; maybe we have been pushing things too much rather than getting to know each other.” I say to him and Mikhail continues to smile at me. “So maybe we should try to talk some more.” I tell him before holding him a little closer.
“Okay, so what should we talk about then?” He kisses my lips before I get a chance to answer and I softly kiss him back. Mikhail starts to kiss me deeper and I moan into the kiss as his hand slides down my body but I make myself pull away.
“How about this? I do not think lying here naked with you is the best way for us to talk.” He does laugh at that and I smile at hearing his laugh.
“Fine.” He tells me still laughing, “So should we put on our clothes or do something else?” He asks shrugging his eyebrows slightly and I am unsure if he is joking despite how recently it was that we did what he is suggesting. I run my fingers through his hair trying to relax and not take him so seriously.
“Please be serious.”
“I was.” He says back just as quick and I just stay looking at him. “I am willing to if you want to.” He tells me now and it has still been too recent for me to want to right away despite how I think about it.
“Not right now, perhaps later.” I tell him and he just smiles and nods to me.
“Okay, then we should put on some clothes.” He says and I wonder if he is disappointed by my choice. He gets out of the bed without waiting for me to respond and when he stands up I see that he really was not joking from how he is erect again. All the same he grabs the underpants he was wearing and slips them on before tossing mine at me. I slip them on quickly not wanting Mikhail to see that my body is not as interested as his even though I am unsure why it bothers me. Mikhail moves back to where I lie on his bed and he lies down with me again. “So then what should we talk about?”
“Are you close to your sister?” I ask him though I am unsure why that is the first question that I can come up with. He smiles all the same though.
“Zahara and I used to be close. She has been a bit more distant from me since my father got ill. She is expected to take over and the thing is that it is going to be sooner rather than later. Her wedding was arranged once we knew that our father was sick and it has been hard on her since. So we haven’t seen much of each other, I was actually surprised that she was willing to have us raise her child when I learned of our possible engagement.” He tells me and it amazes me a little how much he volunteers with so few words. Still I understand what he means about her being groomed for the throne. It does leave much time for other things. “What about you, you have a little sister right?”
“Yes, Aradia is only seven summers old though and she is very sick. I have never really seen her. She spends most of her time with my mother and her nurses. That is why not many people know about her at all.” I say realizing that by asking him I just opened myself up for this. “I feel I do not have much in common with her even if she was not sick.” I tell him honestly and he just nods slightly.
“I am sorry; maybe you should try to get to know her.” He offers but I do not bother to respond and he does not seem to notice. We talk for a while longer about pointless things like weapons, fighting, and horse riding. It goes well for a while until he brings up a more serious subject. “Do you want to marry me?” I stop cold for a moment and just look at him. “I mean aside from liking to do things with me in bed what do you like about me?” I sigh trying to think of something to say.
“You are very kind, even with how sarcastic you are.” I tell him, and he just smiles waiting for me to continue. “You are also a good fighter, you use your brain to fight in ways that are not expected and you are good at that. I like that you can handle yourself in a fight and that you were not afraid when we were ambushed by those bandits. It amazes me how smart you are even with handling the affairs of the common people when I left. You came up with answers that I never would have and the people seem to like you for it. I think that you will make a very good co ruler with me and a very good husband.” I tell him softly and at the end of my words I find Mikhail pressing his lips up to mine. I kiss him back relaxing into his touch again.
“Thank you for being so honest.” He says and I smile at him.
“What do you like about me?” I ask him back wanting to hear what he thinks about me as well. He smiles at me and lightly kisses my lips again for a moment.
“Well, I like your smile when you really just let go.” Another soft kiss that does not last. “I like how you are polite and always trying to do the right thing despite how you really feel. You are so nice that you lose yourself in that instead of what needs to be done. Like how you let me handle the accounts even when I never asked. I just wish you would tell me how you feel more often rather than you being so diplomatic.” He tells me and I know what he means now too. “I like seeing you when you are not trying so hard as well. I do want to apologize for pushing you into sleeping with me, I do not think that we were ready.” He tells me now and I lean closer to kiss him. He lets me kiss him for a few moments but then he pushes me away.
“I am not sorry that it happened. We could have waited until we knew each other better, but I am glad that it happened. I really liked what happened. I cannot wait to do it again because I am sure that it will be even better.” I tell him watching as he smiles at what I say.
“I really enjoyed it too.”