Chapter 12
Monday morning sobers my happy daydream. Ito hardly talks to me at all as he goes about getting ready for his job, even though he did bother to wake me up today. I dread what is going to happen between having to face teachers and Jesse all at once I wonder how I am going to do this. One answer clicks in my head: I’ll do it without lying. I’m done hiding behind lies.
I slip into relatively new clothes, new to me at least, and again look myself over in Ito’s bathroom mirror. I can’t get over the differences, both the ones that I can see and the ones that I can feel. I know the main truth of it: I’m not the same person I was three weeks ago when I took the weak way out and tried to kill myself. My hand lamely ghosts over my hair attempting to tuck it behind my ear and failing for the lack of length. There will be no more hiding behind my hair either, not even the blatant hickeys on my neck. I really should hit Ito for those again, regardless of how many times I did just that yesterday. Though he can’t cover the ones on his neck either being that it would be noticeable if he left his hair down at school not to mention the fact that it’s still not long enough to cover the marks. At least I won’t be the only one who goes to school with bruises.
Ito leaves a bit before me with a rather rushed kiss on the lips right before he leaves the house. I keep him a second longer though, grabbing his wrist to pull him back to me for a longer deeper kiss before releasing him. He smiles at me and then I watch him walk to his car and leave. I walk back into his house, lingering moments longer.
I put on my shoes and grab my backpack before leaving the duplex. I toss my bag in the back seat and head off to school hoping that I won’t be getting too much homework from missing three weeks of school. I also hate to wonder what my friends think of me disappearing that long and if Jess told them where I was. I don’t know whether I hope for it or against it.
The fact still remains though, if I’m asked I’m not going to lie and if all hell breaks loose, at least I can hold my head up high.
I show up late to school delaying just long enough so that Jesse can’t ambush me before class. Instead he sits next to me writing notes that I don’t bother to answer and glaring mad enough at me to make me wonder how I can ever get him to forgive me. I can’t help but wonder though as he glances back and forth between my neck and the matching purple welts on Ito’s neck if he can put the pieces together. I don’t know if I can even keep that lie alive if he bothers to ask.
Ito seems to be running interference as he keeps me after class preventing Jesse from talking to me yet again. Jess looks to the both of us with an almost knowing glare though as he makes his silent exit.
Mr. Masûmakè doesn’t waste time addressing me as if he knows me at all. Instead he informs me that the school is aware of the reason for my absence and that it has been taken care of. He tells me that it counts as an excused absence and that all of my work that I would have had to do has gotten full credit while I recovered. So I smile at him making sure to remember to thank him for it when we get home. After all I know that my mom didn’t do it. So I just smile at him and nod happily before heading off to my next class not surprised when the teacher doesn’t mention a damned thing about my absence.
Lunch isn’t as easy though. Apparently Jesse didn’t feel the need to tell the rest of the boys the reason behind my absence and he still doesn’t seem to care about that as he finally gets a chance to pull me off to the side. Jesse glares at me relentlessly and I don’t know what I would give to know what’s going on inside his head even if I can hardly handle what’s going on inside my own. “Jesse can you just get on with your rant or whatever already? I’m not really in the mood for this.” I tell him knowing this is going to get ugly quick.
“Kevin, I’m not here to get mad at you. You had every right to get mad at me that day. Just can you give me a better reason than that one outburst for you to actually want to be done with me?” He asks so kindly with tears threatening to leave his eyes. I wonder how hard this must be on him to be so nice to me when he can obviously see just how faithful I’ve been to him. I look over him seeing how close he is to breaking and I can’t just calmly push him over the edge like it doesn’t matter.
I take his hand in mine rubbing my thumb over the back of it hoping that it will be a calming action to the both of us. “Jess, I don’t want to date you. I never did. Yes, I wanted to sleep with you, but we both know it didn’t mean the same thing to me that it did to you. You were kidding yourself with me all along; I know how you feel about me. I can’t feel that way about you and it’s not fair to either of us to keep this going. I don’t want to be with you. I don’t know how I can make this any clearer.” I tell him my voice awfully calm for the harsh words coming out of my mouth.
He jerks his hand out of my grasp, an appropriate reaction for rude words. “You don’t want me? It’s so obvious. It’s too obvious Kevin. You think I don’t know? I know all about your ‘Ito’. How fucking obvious do you have to make it? I knew the moment that nurse said his name. I haven’t said a word. It’s been two fucking weeks since then and I haven’t said a fucking word. If I knew when I told our teacher that you were there who he really is I might have done just what you’re waiting for me to do. I would have exploded at him right at school and exposed your little secret for the world to see. What I just don’t get is if you’re going to bother fucking him why you have to lie to me saying that you care about him when it’s so obvious that even you have a price. I just have to wonder which one of you approached the other. How exactly did you go about setting that arrangement up? What’s the deal, a fuck now and then for good grades-”
I hit him. I punch Jesse right in the jaw and it feels great. “You don’t know a damned thing Jess! It was never that way. Don’t blame him just because you can’t have me-” Jesse’s fist returns the hit, a blow for a blow. He strikes lower punching me right in the gut and I can’t take it anymore. We tackle each other pummeling one another to the ground and throwing punches. I hear the sound of flesh hitting flesh so much I can’t distinguish his from mine. I strike out at everything I see, my eyes gone red with fury. I hear the grunted moans of confirmed hits though I can’t say from whose lips they come out of. I see blood splatter and I don’t know whose it is. The scarier thing is I don’t care.
It takes me a while to realize that we are being torn away from each other. The only thing that stops me from attacking the new interloper is the fact that I recognize the inference as my own friends. Isaac pulls me back while Will holds Jesse as he still tries to draw my blood. I stop fighting as Isaac pulls me back to my car and pushes me into it taking my keys and starting the engine. Within seconds he pulls out of the school parking lot and I couldn’t care less where he is headed.
“What the hell’s wrong with you two?” Isaac asks me and I don’t feel the need to answer especially with how he is yelling at me. “I mean you disappear for three weeks and then you finally come back and after everything Jess said in that time about wondering where you were the two of you get in a fight. What’s going on Kevin?” He asks me his voice starting to calm down just I am doing the same.
“Jess doesn’t like the person I’m dating. Jesse insulted me and my boyfriend so I hit him.” I tell Isaac not caring that I just called Ito my boyfriend when he really isn’t. I don’t want to bother with that explanation as well. Still my answer is enough to freak Isaac out as whips his head to face me and narrowly avoids an oncoming car. “Shit! Watch the road!” I tell him making him look out again.
“Sorry, that just kind of shocked me, but what does that has to do with Jess?” He asks not saying the words but I know what shocked him.
“Jess knows that I’m gay and has for a while. He’s mad at me because we slept together and he thinks it means more then it does.” I say maybe a bit crueler than I need to. Isaac flinches again at the mention that I’ve slept with Jess but this time he manages to keep his eyes on the road and I start to think that he really shouldn’t be driving if he is going to react like this. “Isaac can you park somewhere so I don’t have to worry about you killing the both of us and ruining my car?” I tell him and he does as I say pulling up next to the curb by a park.
I get out without caring if he is still going to ask questions or if he is even going to follow. I walk over to the swing set in the deserted playground and sit on a swing. “This is so fucked up.” I mumble under my breath just as Isaac belatedly joins me on the swing next to me. We sit there a few minutes quietly, not moving before Isaac speaks up again. “You should talk to him. You two have been friends for forever. You shouldn’t let this end it.” He tells me and I know he means it even though it seems more than obvious that he’s not completely okay with our sexualities. Still I have tried to talk to Jesse before; he doesn’t listen.
“He doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve told him where I stand before; he just won’t accept it.” I tell him still thinking in my own head that I do want to be friends with Jess still. Or I think I do; after that comment about me sleeping with Ito for a grade I’m not so sure. I don’t want that to go any further though either. Apparently it isn’t up to me though because at that moment Isaac’s cell starts to ring. I don’t know who he is talking to but with a few looks at me between words and the fact he tells them he will be right there I assume it has to do with me. He hangs up and looks at me expectantly.
“That was Will and he says that Jess wants to talk to you. So come on they’re at his house.” He tells me still keeping my car keys even though from earlier it seems like I’m a bit more fit to drive. Yet I don’t protest as he starts the car up. As he drives us to Jesse’s house though I wonder what more he could have to say to me.
Isaac pulls up to the curb in front of Jesse’s house seeing as Will’s car is in the drive way. I get out slower this time dragging my feet along the path Isaac is making to the door. He knocks and Will answers opening the door further to let the both of us in. I see Jesse sitting on the couch and he turns his head to look at us letting me see the new bruises on it. He has a black eye that is starting to form and his bottom lip is cut open. Seeing what I did to him makes me a little more willing to actually talk to him even if he did deserve it. Upon his eyes locking on me his head abruptly turns again looking to the ground.
Isaac and I walk in the room and he looks at me intending for me to sit near Jesse. I take a seat on the other end of the sofa. Isaac and Will lean up against the far wall trying to stay out of our argument while still being close enough to stop us from physically hurting each other. “I’m sorry.” Jesse tells me softly after a few moments of silence between us. I don’t bother to reply still more than pissed about his earlier comment. “I shouldn’t have said what I did about Ito. I know you wouldn’t want him just for that. I just don’t know how you can date someone that old.” He says almost cringing and I clench my fists at the comment. Still I turn to Jesse and speak very quietly not wanting Isaac or Will to hear me.
“I told you the truth before about how I met Ito. He was at the club; I didn’t recognize him there. It has never been about that.” I tell him my voice almost a warning, if my beating him up wasn’t enough of one about how I feel on his earlier comments.
“I thought it might be something like that. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell Will why you hit me either.” He says and that leaves me to admit that I did tell Isaac.
“I told Isaac that we slept together and I hit you because you made a comment about who I’m with. I don’t care if they know I’m gay. I told my mom; she kicked me out. I’m living with Ito.” I tell him not sure if I should have included the last sentence especially with the glare it earns me. Still he doesn’t freak out too much as he can obviously tell that he can’t exactly offer anywhere better.
“Can I try meeting him again? I’ll be nice.” He offers and it seems like it’s a bit too good to be true. I hesitate and he notices. “I swear I won’t say anything I shouldn’t. I know you don’t want to date me.” He says and looking him right in the eyes I can see how sincere he is.
“Okay. You can meet him. You can come over later today. I’ll call you.” I tell him not wanting him to go there before I can explain the situation to Ito as well. Jesse smiles at me seeming a bit happier that I’ve agreed to his request and I can’t help but wonder why. Still I don’t find much of a reason to stay any longer so I leave taking Isaac with me to drop him off at his own house. I don’t notice if Will leaves yet or not. Isaac doesn’t say another word about my coming out to him even as I drop him off before he should even be out of school. I drive back to Ito’s house and let myself in with his spare key. I toss my backpack up against the couch and then throw myself on top of it. I don’t bother to move before the Asian returns as well.
Ito opens the door his eyes seeking me out instantly. I sit up knowing that I have more bruises now than I left the house with this morning. “Shit! What happened to you?” He asks me moving quickly to my side. I know I don’t look as bad as Jess though.
“I got into a fight with Jesse, over you.” I tell him and he closes his eyes tightly. “He knows.” I tell him knowing that Ito needs to know just what is at stake before I tell him about our visitor later. Ito opens his eyes and looks at me as if wondering if he heard me right. “Jess knows that you’re our teacher. He’s known since he saw you at the hospital. He said he won’t tell but he wants to come here and talk to us.” I tell him pretty sure that those are his intentions when all he said is he wants to meet Ito.
The Asian sighs at me before he gets up off of the couch grabbing his suitcase again and heading for his bedroom. I don’t bother to ask him what he is doing. His door closes for a few moments and then he comes out redressed in tight shiny black pants and an equally tight gold shirt. Rubber bracelets adorn his wrist and his hair is nicely messed up. I smile at his appearance liking it better when he isn’t dressed up for his job. He comes and sits next to me again still not talking. I move closer to him and lightly kiss his lips not exactly sure why I do it. “I told Jess he could come over today to see us.” I tell him hoping not to make him worry about this when I know this can turn into a very bad thing.
“Okay. We’ll talk to him. We’ll get through this together.” He tells me pulling me closer to him and lightly kissing my cheek. “I mean it.” He tells me and I smile really hoping that Jesse won’t tell anyone, I don’t want my relationship to be done with Ito. Looking over how flashy Ito is dressed I can’t help to wonder why at the same time he is much too hot in it for me to care. I move closer to him smiling right into his brown eyes.
“You look sexy in those clothes.” But you’d look better out of them. I tell him only the first half keeping the second part in my head to snicker over. He smirks at me and answers my compliment with a deep kiss. I kiss him just as deeply sweeping my tongue around his and sliding my hand down his body to grab his ass. His body leans into the touch more than willingly and I grin at that as I pull back from the kiss my hand remaining where it is.
The words spoken from Ito’s lips next wipe the smile off my face. “So when is Jesse showing up?” He asks and my hand moves from his body to my pocket instead my fingers wrapping around my cell phone. I can tell that he sees how the question sobers my mood.
“When I call him.” I tell him looking into his eyes questioning silently if I should. He smiles at me very slightly and nods. I pull away from Ito moving so that we are no longer leg-to-leg. I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Jesse’s number as I put the phone to my ear though I curse at the noise I hear. Ito looks at me sharply as I cuss and I smirk at him apologetically as I hang up my phone. “My wonderful mother cut my phone.” I tell him as I put the annoying device back in my pocket.
Ito sighs and takes out his own cell phone and hands it to me. “Here.” He tells me and I dial Jesse’s number again not having to get the number from my own non-working cell. This time the phone goes through and Jesse’s hesitant voice answers.
“Hello?”
“Jess, it’s Kevin. My mom cut off my cell.” I say just in way of explanation before continuing. “You can come over now.” I tell him waiting for a response.
“Alright, but I need a ride. Can you pick me up?” He asks and I sigh knowing that I need to talk to Jesse about this even if I don’t want to do it.
“K. I’ll be there soon.” I tell him and I see that Ito hears my words just fine so I don’t feel the need to repeat them. I hang up and look to Ito; he moves towards me and then lightly kisses my cheek.
“Go ahead. I’ll see you when you get back.” He tells me and I nod. Still I pick up my bag that still lies up against the couch and put in inside of his room first. When I walk back through the front room, Ito still sits on the couch watching me, but I don’t move toward him as I leave. I get in my car and drive to Jesse’s house.
When I knock on his door he answers and I don’t say much as we walk back to my car. I still vividly remember our fight and the pain I’m in from it. About half way to Ito’s house as we’re stopped at a light though Jess speaks up. “Kev, are you mad at me?” He asks and I can’t help but to think what a dumb question that is.
“You told me to choose between you and Ito. Then you made a fool of yourself by hitting on me and arguing over me while I was in a mental hospital. You called me a slut and accused me of sleeping with our teacher for good grades.” I take a moment to actually look at the brunette. “What do you think Jess?” I ask him pissed at his question. He stays silent for the rest of the drive.
As I park in front of Ito’s house the silence remains up to the point that we walk inside and Ito isn’t in the general vicinity. “So where he?” Jess asks, and I answer honestly just as confused by the Asian’s disappearance as Jesse is.
“I don’t know Jess.” I say to him before I gesture for him to sit on the couch as I make my way to the room I’m sharing with Ito. I peek in but the Asian boy isn’t there either. I walk back into the living room and notice that he has passed me somehow because he now stands in the living room having a staring match with Jess. So I walk into the room as well and stand right between the boys looking to Jesse and standing closer to Ito. “Jess can we just get this over with without having to deal with you trying to act like you own me? What do you want?” I ask him knowing that he can now see the matching hickeys on Ito’s and my own necks. They alone protest to the fact that I obviously took the black haired boy back.
“I’m not going to tell anyone ok.” Jess says to begin with and I’m not so sure that I should believe him. His eyes stay focused on me ignoring Ito completely. “Kevin I’m sorry about what I said at school. I didn’t mean it I know you wouldn’t do that. Just don’t be mad at me for what happened last time. I want to be your friend and if you want to be with Ito then I’ll learn to deal with it.” His eyes move to look over Ito. “No hard feelings okay, I don’t want to be immature about this so if you want to be together I’ll keep quiet about it.” He says and this time when he says the word ‘you’ it almost seems like he is referring to both Ito and myself. I am amazed by how calmly he is taking all of this.
“Jess…” I start looking at him and still for a moment. I sigh and move closer to the brunette. I sit down on the couch towards the middle and look to Ito expecting him to sit as well. The Asian moves slower until he sits right next to me and I feel like I am in a bad position between the two boys. “Jess thank you for not saying anything ok.” I tell him and then I lean closer to the brunette. “I still don’t want to date you but I do want to be your friend.” I tell him pulling away from his ear to look over at Ito knowing that Jesse’s gaze follows my own. “But just so you know I’m not dating Ito. I was never dating either of you. I don’t want that.” I say and I know that Ito doesn’t even flinch from my words. I said the same thing right before we last had sex. “I don’t want a relationship.” I say stating what I was saying all along.
I slip into relatively new clothes, new to me at least, and again look myself over in Ito’s bathroom mirror. I can’t get over the differences, both the ones that I can see and the ones that I can feel. I know the main truth of it: I’m not the same person I was three weeks ago when I took the weak way out and tried to kill myself. My hand lamely ghosts over my hair attempting to tuck it behind my ear and failing for the lack of length. There will be no more hiding behind my hair either, not even the blatant hickeys on my neck. I really should hit Ito for those again, regardless of how many times I did just that yesterday. Though he can’t cover the ones on his neck either being that it would be noticeable if he left his hair down at school not to mention the fact that it’s still not long enough to cover the marks. At least I won’t be the only one who goes to school with bruises.
Ito leaves a bit before me with a rather rushed kiss on the lips right before he leaves the house. I keep him a second longer though, grabbing his wrist to pull him back to me for a longer deeper kiss before releasing him. He smiles at me and then I watch him walk to his car and leave. I walk back into his house, lingering moments longer.
I put on my shoes and grab my backpack before leaving the duplex. I toss my bag in the back seat and head off to school hoping that I won’t be getting too much homework from missing three weeks of school. I also hate to wonder what my friends think of me disappearing that long and if Jess told them where I was. I don’t know whether I hope for it or against it.
The fact still remains though, if I’m asked I’m not going to lie and if all hell breaks loose, at least I can hold my head up high.
I show up late to school delaying just long enough so that Jesse can’t ambush me before class. Instead he sits next to me writing notes that I don’t bother to answer and glaring mad enough at me to make me wonder how I can ever get him to forgive me. I can’t help but wonder though as he glances back and forth between my neck and the matching purple welts on Ito’s neck if he can put the pieces together. I don’t know if I can even keep that lie alive if he bothers to ask.
Ito seems to be running interference as he keeps me after class preventing Jesse from talking to me yet again. Jess looks to the both of us with an almost knowing glare though as he makes his silent exit.
Mr. Masûmakè doesn’t waste time addressing me as if he knows me at all. Instead he informs me that the school is aware of the reason for my absence and that it has been taken care of. He tells me that it counts as an excused absence and that all of my work that I would have had to do has gotten full credit while I recovered. So I smile at him making sure to remember to thank him for it when we get home. After all I know that my mom didn’t do it. So I just smile at him and nod happily before heading off to my next class not surprised when the teacher doesn’t mention a damned thing about my absence.
Lunch isn’t as easy though. Apparently Jesse didn’t feel the need to tell the rest of the boys the reason behind my absence and he still doesn’t seem to care about that as he finally gets a chance to pull me off to the side. Jesse glares at me relentlessly and I don’t know what I would give to know what’s going on inside his head even if I can hardly handle what’s going on inside my own. “Jesse can you just get on with your rant or whatever already? I’m not really in the mood for this.” I tell him knowing this is going to get ugly quick.
“Kevin, I’m not here to get mad at you. You had every right to get mad at me that day. Just can you give me a better reason than that one outburst for you to actually want to be done with me?” He asks so kindly with tears threatening to leave his eyes. I wonder how hard this must be on him to be so nice to me when he can obviously see just how faithful I’ve been to him. I look over him seeing how close he is to breaking and I can’t just calmly push him over the edge like it doesn’t matter.
I take his hand in mine rubbing my thumb over the back of it hoping that it will be a calming action to the both of us. “Jess, I don’t want to date you. I never did. Yes, I wanted to sleep with you, but we both know it didn’t mean the same thing to me that it did to you. You were kidding yourself with me all along; I know how you feel about me. I can’t feel that way about you and it’s not fair to either of us to keep this going. I don’t want to be with you. I don’t know how I can make this any clearer.” I tell him my voice awfully calm for the harsh words coming out of my mouth.
He jerks his hand out of my grasp, an appropriate reaction for rude words. “You don’t want me? It’s so obvious. It’s too obvious Kevin. You think I don’t know? I know all about your ‘Ito’. How fucking obvious do you have to make it? I knew the moment that nurse said his name. I haven’t said a word. It’s been two fucking weeks since then and I haven’t said a fucking word. If I knew when I told our teacher that you were there who he really is I might have done just what you’re waiting for me to do. I would have exploded at him right at school and exposed your little secret for the world to see. What I just don’t get is if you’re going to bother fucking him why you have to lie to me saying that you care about him when it’s so obvious that even you have a price. I just have to wonder which one of you approached the other. How exactly did you go about setting that arrangement up? What’s the deal, a fuck now and then for good grades-”
I hit him. I punch Jesse right in the jaw and it feels great. “You don’t know a damned thing Jess! It was never that way. Don’t blame him just because you can’t have me-” Jesse’s fist returns the hit, a blow for a blow. He strikes lower punching me right in the gut and I can’t take it anymore. We tackle each other pummeling one another to the ground and throwing punches. I hear the sound of flesh hitting flesh so much I can’t distinguish his from mine. I strike out at everything I see, my eyes gone red with fury. I hear the grunted moans of confirmed hits though I can’t say from whose lips they come out of. I see blood splatter and I don’t know whose it is. The scarier thing is I don’t care.
It takes me a while to realize that we are being torn away from each other. The only thing that stops me from attacking the new interloper is the fact that I recognize the inference as my own friends. Isaac pulls me back while Will holds Jesse as he still tries to draw my blood. I stop fighting as Isaac pulls me back to my car and pushes me into it taking my keys and starting the engine. Within seconds he pulls out of the school parking lot and I couldn’t care less where he is headed.
“What the hell’s wrong with you two?” Isaac asks me and I don’t feel the need to answer especially with how he is yelling at me. “I mean you disappear for three weeks and then you finally come back and after everything Jess said in that time about wondering where you were the two of you get in a fight. What’s going on Kevin?” He asks me his voice starting to calm down just I am doing the same.
“Jess doesn’t like the person I’m dating. Jesse insulted me and my boyfriend so I hit him.” I tell Isaac not caring that I just called Ito my boyfriend when he really isn’t. I don’t want to bother with that explanation as well. Still my answer is enough to freak Isaac out as whips his head to face me and narrowly avoids an oncoming car. “Shit! Watch the road!” I tell him making him look out again.
“Sorry, that just kind of shocked me, but what does that has to do with Jess?” He asks not saying the words but I know what shocked him.
“Jess knows that I’m gay and has for a while. He’s mad at me because we slept together and he thinks it means more then it does.” I say maybe a bit crueler than I need to. Isaac flinches again at the mention that I’ve slept with Jess but this time he manages to keep his eyes on the road and I start to think that he really shouldn’t be driving if he is going to react like this. “Isaac can you park somewhere so I don’t have to worry about you killing the both of us and ruining my car?” I tell him and he does as I say pulling up next to the curb by a park.
I get out without caring if he is still going to ask questions or if he is even going to follow. I walk over to the swing set in the deserted playground and sit on a swing. “This is so fucked up.” I mumble under my breath just as Isaac belatedly joins me on the swing next to me. We sit there a few minutes quietly, not moving before Isaac speaks up again. “You should talk to him. You two have been friends for forever. You shouldn’t let this end it.” He tells me and I know he means it even though it seems more than obvious that he’s not completely okay with our sexualities. Still I have tried to talk to Jesse before; he doesn’t listen.
“He doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve told him where I stand before; he just won’t accept it.” I tell him still thinking in my own head that I do want to be friends with Jess still. Or I think I do; after that comment about me sleeping with Ito for a grade I’m not so sure. I don’t want that to go any further though either. Apparently it isn’t up to me though because at that moment Isaac’s cell starts to ring. I don’t know who he is talking to but with a few looks at me between words and the fact he tells them he will be right there I assume it has to do with me. He hangs up and looks at me expectantly.
“That was Will and he says that Jess wants to talk to you. So come on they’re at his house.” He tells me still keeping my car keys even though from earlier it seems like I’m a bit more fit to drive. Yet I don’t protest as he starts the car up. As he drives us to Jesse’s house though I wonder what more he could have to say to me.
Isaac pulls up to the curb in front of Jesse’s house seeing as Will’s car is in the drive way. I get out slower this time dragging my feet along the path Isaac is making to the door. He knocks and Will answers opening the door further to let the both of us in. I see Jesse sitting on the couch and he turns his head to look at us letting me see the new bruises on it. He has a black eye that is starting to form and his bottom lip is cut open. Seeing what I did to him makes me a little more willing to actually talk to him even if he did deserve it. Upon his eyes locking on me his head abruptly turns again looking to the ground.
Isaac and I walk in the room and he looks at me intending for me to sit near Jesse. I take a seat on the other end of the sofa. Isaac and Will lean up against the far wall trying to stay out of our argument while still being close enough to stop us from physically hurting each other. “I’m sorry.” Jesse tells me softly after a few moments of silence between us. I don’t bother to reply still more than pissed about his earlier comment. “I shouldn’t have said what I did about Ito. I know you wouldn’t want him just for that. I just don’t know how you can date someone that old.” He says almost cringing and I clench my fists at the comment. Still I turn to Jesse and speak very quietly not wanting Isaac or Will to hear me.
“I told you the truth before about how I met Ito. He was at the club; I didn’t recognize him there. It has never been about that.” I tell him my voice almost a warning, if my beating him up wasn’t enough of one about how I feel on his earlier comments.
“I thought it might be something like that. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell Will why you hit me either.” He says and that leaves me to admit that I did tell Isaac.
“I told Isaac that we slept together and I hit you because you made a comment about who I’m with. I don’t care if they know I’m gay. I told my mom; she kicked me out. I’m living with Ito.” I tell him not sure if I should have included the last sentence especially with the glare it earns me. Still he doesn’t freak out too much as he can obviously tell that he can’t exactly offer anywhere better.
“Can I try meeting him again? I’ll be nice.” He offers and it seems like it’s a bit too good to be true. I hesitate and he notices. “I swear I won’t say anything I shouldn’t. I know you don’t want to date me.” He says and looking him right in the eyes I can see how sincere he is.
“Okay. You can meet him. You can come over later today. I’ll call you.” I tell him not wanting him to go there before I can explain the situation to Ito as well. Jesse smiles at me seeming a bit happier that I’ve agreed to his request and I can’t help but wonder why. Still I don’t find much of a reason to stay any longer so I leave taking Isaac with me to drop him off at his own house. I don’t notice if Will leaves yet or not. Isaac doesn’t say another word about my coming out to him even as I drop him off before he should even be out of school. I drive back to Ito’s house and let myself in with his spare key. I toss my backpack up against the couch and then throw myself on top of it. I don’t bother to move before the Asian returns as well.
Ito opens the door his eyes seeking me out instantly. I sit up knowing that I have more bruises now than I left the house with this morning. “Shit! What happened to you?” He asks me moving quickly to my side. I know I don’t look as bad as Jess though.
“I got into a fight with Jesse, over you.” I tell him and he closes his eyes tightly. “He knows.” I tell him knowing that Ito needs to know just what is at stake before I tell him about our visitor later. Ito opens his eyes and looks at me as if wondering if he heard me right. “Jess knows that you’re our teacher. He’s known since he saw you at the hospital. He said he won’t tell but he wants to come here and talk to us.” I tell him pretty sure that those are his intentions when all he said is he wants to meet Ito.
The Asian sighs at me before he gets up off of the couch grabbing his suitcase again and heading for his bedroom. I don’t bother to ask him what he is doing. His door closes for a few moments and then he comes out redressed in tight shiny black pants and an equally tight gold shirt. Rubber bracelets adorn his wrist and his hair is nicely messed up. I smile at his appearance liking it better when he isn’t dressed up for his job. He comes and sits next to me again still not talking. I move closer to him and lightly kiss his lips not exactly sure why I do it. “I told Jess he could come over today to see us.” I tell him hoping not to make him worry about this when I know this can turn into a very bad thing.
“Okay. We’ll talk to him. We’ll get through this together.” He tells me pulling me closer to him and lightly kissing my cheek. “I mean it.” He tells me and I smile really hoping that Jesse won’t tell anyone, I don’t want my relationship to be done with Ito. Looking over how flashy Ito is dressed I can’t help to wonder why at the same time he is much too hot in it for me to care. I move closer to him smiling right into his brown eyes.
“You look sexy in those clothes.” But you’d look better out of them. I tell him only the first half keeping the second part in my head to snicker over. He smirks at me and answers my compliment with a deep kiss. I kiss him just as deeply sweeping my tongue around his and sliding my hand down his body to grab his ass. His body leans into the touch more than willingly and I grin at that as I pull back from the kiss my hand remaining where it is.
The words spoken from Ito’s lips next wipe the smile off my face. “So when is Jesse showing up?” He asks and my hand moves from his body to my pocket instead my fingers wrapping around my cell phone. I can tell that he sees how the question sobers my mood.
“When I call him.” I tell him looking into his eyes questioning silently if I should. He smiles at me very slightly and nods. I pull away from Ito moving so that we are no longer leg-to-leg. I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Jesse’s number as I put the phone to my ear though I curse at the noise I hear. Ito looks at me sharply as I cuss and I smirk at him apologetically as I hang up my phone. “My wonderful mother cut my phone.” I tell him as I put the annoying device back in my pocket.
Ito sighs and takes out his own cell phone and hands it to me. “Here.” He tells me and I dial Jesse’s number again not having to get the number from my own non-working cell. This time the phone goes through and Jesse’s hesitant voice answers.
“Hello?”
“Jess, it’s Kevin. My mom cut off my cell.” I say just in way of explanation before continuing. “You can come over now.” I tell him waiting for a response.
“Alright, but I need a ride. Can you pick me up?” He asks and I sigh knowing that I need to talk to Jesse about this even if I don’t want to do it.
“K. I’ll be there soon.” I tell him and I see that Ito hears my words just fine so I don’t feel the need to repeat them. I hang up and look to Ito; he moves towards me and then lightly kisses my cheek.
“Go ahead. I’ll see you when you get back.” He tells me and I nod. Still I pick up my bag that still lies up against the couch and put in inside of his room first. When I walk back through the front room, Ito still sits on the couch watching me, but I don’t move toward him as I leave. I get in my car and drive to Jesse’s house.
When I knock on his door he answers and I don’t say much as we walk back to my car. I still vividly remember our fight and the pain I’m in from it. About half way to Ito’s house as we’re stopped at a light though Jess speaks up. “Kev, are you mad at me?” He asks and I can’t help but to think what a dumb question that is.
“You told me to choose between you and Ito. Then you made a fool of yourself by hitting on me and arguing over me while I was in a mental hospital. You called me a slut and accused me of sleeping with our teacher for good grades.” I take a moment to actually look at the brunette. “What do you think Jess?” I ask him pissed at his question. He stays silent for the rest of the drive.
As I park in front of Ito’s house the silence remains up to the point that we walk inside and Ito isn’t in the general vicinity. “So where he?” Jess asks, and I answer honestly just as confused by the Asian’s disappearance as Jesse is.
“I don’t know Jess.” I say to him before I gesture for him to sit on the couch as I make my way to the room I’m sharing with Ito. I peek in but the Asian boy isn’t there either. I walk back into the living room and notice that he has passed me somehow because he now stands in the living room having a staring match with Jess. So I walk into the room as well and stand right between the boys looking to Jesse and standing closer to Ito. “Jess can we just get this over with without having to deal with you trying to act like you own me? What do you want?” I ask him knowing that he can now see the matching hickeys on Ito’s and my own necks. They alone protest to the fact that I obviously took the black haired boy back.
“I’m not going to tell anyone ok.” Jess says to begin with and I’m not so sure that I should believe him. His eyes stay focused on me ignoring Ito completely. “Kevin I’m sorry about what I said at school. I didn’t mean it I know you wouldn’t do that. Just don’t be mad at me for what happened last time. I want to be your friend and if you want to be with Ito then I’ll learn to deal with it.” His eyes move to look over Ito. “No hard feelings okay, I don’t want to be immature about this so if you want to be together I’ll keep quiet about it.” He says and this time when he says the word ‘you’ it almost seems like he is referring to both Ito and myself. I am amazed by how calmly he is taking all of this.
“Jess…” I start looking at him and still for a moment. I sigh and move closer to the brunette. I sit down on the couch towards the middle and look to Ito expecting him to sit as well. The Asian moves slower until he sits right next to me and I feel like I am in a bad position between the two boys. “Jess thank you for not saying anything ok.” I tell him and then I lean closer to the brunette. “I still don’t want to date you but I do want to be your friend.” I tell him pulling away from his ear to look over at Ito knowing that Jesse’s gaze follows my own. “But just so you know I’m not dating Ito. I was never dating either of you. I don’t want that.” I say and I know that Ito doesn’t even flinch from my words. I said the same thing right before we last had sex. “I don’t want a relationship.” I say stating what I was saying all along.